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“Nope.”

“Okay,” she responded. Although I wasn’t sure if that was a full agreement, I was prepared to move forward and give her that space to be herself. Now that I knew her go-to was to make herself small to accommodate others, I’d watch more closely and make sure she knew she could be herself with me.

“Deal. But here’s the thing—you can’t say no for another five minutes.” I should have gotten her to say yes before this whole empowering “no” talk. Apparently, I had become a rookie after not dating for so long.

“This feels like a trick,” she said as a smile tugged at her lips.

“I have tickets to the Cal Austin concert next Friday. I thought I’d try out some of this pop country music if you want to come with me?” I knew Cal Austin was one of her favorites because she had played me two of his songs while we checked on the calves. When I saw they were coming to a nearby town, I had talked to Lane, and he had worked his charm and acquired me a pair of tickets.

“Really? Yes!” A smile stretched across her face like it was Christmas. I had never looked forward to a concert that was sure to make my ears bleed more in my life.

Chapter

Twenty-Five

Sawyer

I snuggled down in my comfy chair with my weighted blanket. Today was emotionally exhausting and my dang toilet was still making that trickling water sound. I needed to fix it before I lost my mind. Talia would be over shortly, but I wasn’t sure if I could even convey everything that happened today. Soren intrigued me on a level that I’d never experienced before. I was still perplexed about disagreeing with him. It didn’t seem a desirable trait to have in someone you wanted to be around, and yet, somehow I already knew Talia was going to love it. Knowing her, she would.

A ridiculous patterned knocking sounded at the door—one that she’d later claim sounded exactly like a hit boy band song—before Talia announced herself and used her key to unlock it. She even knocked in a happy way.

She came in as a burst of sunshine. She was wearing a bubblegum pink romper, matching lipstick, and thick, key lime-colored plastic hoops. Her black hair curled into corkscrews every which way around her head.

“Honey.” She drew the word out and placed the bag of what I knew to be shrimp tacos on the coffee table. Her eyes were assessing. My hair was in a messy bun. I was makeup-less and wearing Soren’s hoodie that had quickly become my favorite.“Talk or tacos?”

“Tacos.”

She grabbed two cans of soda from my fridge and a couple of plates.

“Drink.” She handed me the can and began making our plates.

I drank a fizzy sip and readjusted, pulling my blankets down to better free my hands.

She passed me a plate, and we ate in comfortable silence. The kind of silence that two longtime friends can have and not feel awkward. Within fifteen minutes, we had finished our food, and I was less overwhelmed.

“Thank you.” Talia placed our plates on the coffee table and turned to me, concern etched in her brow.

“How are you feeling now?” she asked softly.

“I think you’re going to be happy, but I’m a jumble of emotions.”

“What emotion are you experiencing the most?” she inquired.

“Soren took me to lunch today,” I said because I wasn’t sure which emotion was the loudest.

Talia’s face broke into a huge smile, as I knew it would. She knew I didn’t date. Not because I didn’t get asked regularly, but because I didn’t see the need. Sure, a relationship sounds nice from the outside, until you’ve seen relationships unravel. I’ve seen people pushed to the brink and being single sounded so much better than experiencing the hellish conditions I had again. The yelling, the screaming, the fighting. Sure, sometimes I was lonely, but my job kept me busy, and I wasn’t one of those people that easily built relationships with others. I was broken beyond repair. The only person that’s made it past my walls of keeping my heart safe was Talia. Although, lately, my walls didn’t feel thick enough against the intensity of one Soren Roberts. What was it about this man that made me feel things that didn’t normally make it through my fortress walls? I wasn’t even exactly sure what I was feeling.

I preferred my perfectly organized existence. I liked things being predictable. After a lifetime of instability, I craved sameness. I didn’t like these new emotions Soren stirred within me, but at the same time, his kindness was disarming. I wanted to spend time with him. I wanted to know him. Truly know him. But doing that was daunting.

“Earth to Sawyer.” Talia was waving a hand in front of my face. I blinked, lost in my head.

“Sorry, what did you ask?” I asked as I squirmed in my blanket nest.

“I asked how it went.”

“It was unexpected, but not terrible.” Talia laughed.

“Not terrible. That’s always good,” she remarked, her eyes dancing.