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SOS Hotel: Halloween: One Star Nightmare

Page 3

by Adam Vex

Sumthing else

WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE ASSISTANCE WITH?

remoov bad 1 star review

WE ARE SORRY YOU HAVE RECEIVED A BAD REVIEW. IT IS OUR POLICY AT HOTELS4U NOT TO REMOVE ONE-STAR REVIEWS SIMPLY BECAUSE YOU DO NOT LIKE THEM. WHAT IS YOUR REASON FOR REMOVAL?

the reviewd is wrong I am the best hotel events organizer and customer experience manager and our Halloween event is the best so they are wrong also our hotel is the best

THAT IS YOUR OPINION. YOUR OPINION MAY BE BIASED. HAVE YOU TRIED PUTTING YOURSELF IN YOUR HOTEL GUEST’S SHOES?

ew no i wear heels i wanna speak to a human person not a bot

WE UNDERSTAND YOUR FRUSTRATION. WOULD YOU LIKE TO EXPERIENCE THE CONSEQUENCES OF LEAVING FAKE REVIEWS. CONFIRM YOUR USERNAME IS DefinitelyNotZodiac

can ispeak to a person then?

WOULD YOU LIKE TO EXPERIENCE THE CONSEQUENCES OF YOUR ACTIONS?

i wanna speak to a person not a bot

REPLY WITH YES IF YOU ACCEPT THE FULL RESPONSIBILITY FOR YOUR ACTIONS AND THE CONSEQUENCES

yeah whatever

PLEASE CONFIRM THAT YOU ACCEPT FULL RESPONSIBILITY AND RELATED CONSEQUENCES

yes yes yes already yes i want a human

THANK YOU! YOUR EXPERIENCE WILL BEGIN SHORTLY. HAVE A NICE DAY.

CHAT ENDED

I lifted my gaze from the screen and caught Victor’s eye. “Huh,” I said.

“Hm,” Victor agreed.

Zee blinked at us both. “What?”

“Hm,” Victor hmmed. Again. “Did you read the replies?”

“Pfft, it’s a bot. You just type anything and then it puts you through to a human.”

I scanned the bar. The jukebox continued to play spooky Halloween themed music, Tom Collins polished glasses, a couple of guests sat back from the bar, chatting like tourists. Wispy, fake cobwebs dangled from the ceiling. A plastic skeleton slouched in the corner, looking as tired as I felt. Everything was as it should be.

Except for the little green frog on the bartop, right next to Zee’s elbow.

He hadn’t seen it yet. But in a few seconds, he would.

I gulped. “Uh . . . Zee?”

“How is it right that some anonymous person can besmeach . . . besmooch . . . besmirch . . . is that the word?” Zee ranted. “Whatever. Be-a-bitch about our hotel?”

Victor tensed. He’d seen the frog too.

Alright, so everybody just needed to stay calm. No sudden movements.

If we could distract Zee . . . “Maybe uh . . . don’t look down?”