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We rounded a bend and were met by a wall of twinkling lights, a forest of giant plastic Christmas trees, fake-snow blankets strung over the aisle to make a long, wintery tunnel, and a whole lot of creepy gnome yard ornaments wearing homicidal grins.

“What in the flying fucking reindeer is this creepshow?”

“It’s the holiday section.” We definitely hadn’t been through here yet.

Zee’s wide eyes quickly narrowed. “No way am I going through the twinkly fuckin’ snow tunnel of death. Nah, dawg. Nope. Fuck. That. With a side order of Fuck No, and a dessert of Fuck Off.”

We hadn’t arrived that way, so the bed section definitely had to be behind us. I didn’t much relish the idea of walking through that tunnel of wintery doom either. “It’s okay . . . let’s . . . uhm . . . go back . . .”

A crackling sound scratched from the store speakers and tinkling music began to play from all around. “Do you hear what I hear . . .”

Icy fingers of dread tickled down my spine.

Zee straightened, pinched his lips together, and pointed up. He grimaced and gave his head a rigid shake, rattling his horn-ring. “Nope. Nuh-uh. Hello nope sleigh. We leavin’ this fuckin’ creepy-ass reindeer ride to nightmare hell.”

I was on board with that idea.

Zee grabbed my hand and hauled me in the opposite direction from the holiday nightmare display, leaving the creepy music and weird gnomes fading behind us. But as it quietened, a hearty “ho, ho, ho” rang out, that didn’t sound as though it belonged to the music.

The fine hairs on my arms lifted.

We weren’t alone.