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CHAPTER 8

“Holy Saint Nick!What the fuck happened here?” Zee skidded to a stop on the broken bits of Christmas tree and shattered lights. “Kitten?! Are you hurt?”

“I’m fine.” From my sitting position on the floor, I ruffled glitter from my hair, popped my red Christmas hat back on with its jingly bell, and held out the knife for Zee.

He took it and eyed me sideways, checking for telltale cuts and scrapes. “After you vanished, we figured you’d end up here. Looks as though we missed the party.”

Victor surveyed the broken gnomes, twisted winter tunnel, toppled forest, collapsed gingerbread grotto, and me sitting in the middle of it all, mostly untouched. “It appears you have taken care of Santa?”

I pursed my lips, planted my hands on my hips, and took a fresh look at the carnage. “It was like this when I got here.”

“Hm, was it?” Victor gripped my shoulder and gave it a comforting squeeze, then swiped his thumb at something on my cheek. “Just a little blood.”

“Oh.” I brushed a hand across my cheek. “How’d that get there?”

“Wait.” Zee spun in a circle until facing me again. He blinked and whispered, “Did you eat Santa?”

“What? Me?” I gave a half-hearted snort. “That would be silly.”

He straightened, but his lips tucked sideways into his cheek. “Right. Sure.”

“And if I had—which I’m not saying I did—it would have been an accident.”

Victor coughed a laugh. “Excuse me, a little dust in my throat.”

Zee poked half a gnome, toeing it over, and grimaced at the hole where its face had been. “Hey, so, this has been fun and will be giving me gnomemares for the rest of my fabulous life, but now that it’s over, what do we do?”

“Wait until the store reopens,” Victor replied. “And make sure our stories are aligned for the inevitable arrival of the authorities.”

“Ugh.” Zee huffed, then perked up as a new thought brightened his eyes. “I know a place full of bright, fluffy cushions that has room enough for three.”

That sounded like the best way to pass the rest of the night. We both turned toward Victor, hoping he might agree. “I’ll watch for threats,” he said. “Should any remain.”

“Right.” Zee rolled his eyes. “You can watch, Daddy Vampire. Adam?” Zee offered his hand, and when I took it, he reeled me against his side. “Lovin’ your hat.” He flicked its tinkling bell.

“Aw, thank you.”

“Victor wishes he had one just like it. Don’t you, Fancy Fangs?”

“No.”

“Pfft, whatever. Keep it on, Adam. Imma make that little bell ring when we get back to my nest.” He waggled his eyebrows and I chuckled back. “So, how’d you lure Santa from his grotto to gobble him up like the cute little murder-weirdo you are?” Zee booped my nose.

I grinned back. “Oh, you know . . . maybe took some hints from your playbook?”

“Wait, you did a striptease?!” he squeaked.

“Not really, but kinda?”

“Gah.” He clutched his heart. “I fuckin’ missed it.”

“Honestly, it was impressive.”

“If you’d done it,” Victor said, following along behind.

“Right. If I’d done that, which I didn’t.”

“Right,” Zee laughed. “Because you’re such a good boy, Adam Vex.”