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“There’s blood right there, on your clothes, Adam.” Kenzo pointed out.

“No, nope, pfft, not really.” I patted my knees. This was awkward.

“Didn’t happen,” Zee said.

“A highly unlikely scenario,” Victor agreed.

“Anyhoo, wow.” I chuckled. “It’s warm back here. Are you warm? Zee can you crack a window?”

He did, and a cool salty breeze swept in, clearing the stuffy air, and my head. Everything was going to be fine. These folks would get cleaned up and go their separate ways, and nobody had to speak about any of this ever again.

“Do you think the vampires will know I did it?” Zee asked.

A quick glance at Victor in the front passenger seat revealed how he leaned against the door, massaging stress from his forehead. “I suggest we keep our heads down.”

“Did you see it though? It was fucking epic. Me and Shareen. Swoosh, thunk. A fucking masterpiece.”

“I was rather busy trying not to have my throat torn out.”

“You missed it? I killed the fucking sucker queen and Vampire Daddy missed it? For reals?” Zee flapped a hand at Reynard’s face. “This resting bitch face is a mask. I see you laughing inside. You totally saw. You think it was hot. Because it was.”

“I most certainly was not aroused by your butchering of our revered queen.”

I flopped my head back and let my eyes flutter closed. The drone of the minivan wheels, and Reynard and Zee’s debate, lulled my ragged mind into a doze. It was going to be fine. We’d all get back to the hotel. Jimmy’s family were safe. He’d make the gremlins leave, and it would all go back to how it was before. Not normal, exactly, but normal for us.

We arrived at the hotel with the rescued Lost Ones, and Madame Matase jumped into action, getting each of the victims fixed up with a room, just for one night.

“What the Friar Tuck happened to you three?” We must have looked terrible if Tom Collins was lost for anything more creative to say.

“Line ’em up.” Zee slumped on a bar stool.

“Some alcoholic therapy coming right up.” Tom got to work, scooping up glasses, drinks, and serving our usual pick-me-ups.

“Adam, are you well?” Reynard asked. His concerned gaze roamed, checking for additional wounds.

“Oh, this?” I pulled at my stiff, bloody shirt. “Yeah, I’m fine. I heal pretty fast.”

“Did you slaughter the vampire responsible?” he snarled, showing a hint of fang.

I had smashed Armin’s skull against the floor. “I think so. It got pretty wild back there.”

“Fuuuuck.” Zee collected his rainbow cocktail and sat back. “Did I slay the vampire queen?”

Victor and I both looked over. Had that realization only now sunk in? “Yeah,” I said.

He shook his head, fluffing his purple locks. “We are so fucked.”

“Maybe they won’t know for sure it was us? Right?” I asked Victor, but his face looked doubtful. “I mean, there weren’t many vampires left standing. No witnesses. We’ll just deny it.”

“Adam told me to do it,” Zee blurted. “He told me to kill her, and he’s my general, so it’s his fault.”

“Would you jump off a cliff if I told you to?”

“Uh, yeah? Wings?” He shrugged his wings, then let them droop.

“Oh, yeah.” We each sipped our potent drinks and ruminated on the evening’s events. “The painting is still there. Maybe nobody will notice her head’s gone.”

“Adam, I admire your optimism, but the chance of the vampire hierarchy not noticing that their plan to summon the queen by sacrificing Lost Ones has been spectacularly destroyed, and that their revered and worshipped queen is now missing her head, is exactly zero.”