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Victor eyed his Bloody Bitch, then encircled it with his fingers. “I do not recall the last time I behaved irresponsibly.”

I laughed. “Don’t let him hear you say that or he’ll have you doing Bermuda Slammers.”

“Perhaps, just this night, for his birthday, a little irresponsibility will not hurt.”

“That’s the wild, chaotic, fun-loving Victor we know.”

Victor almost chuckled. “Indeed.”

As the evening wore on and my vision got fuzzy around its edges, at some point, someone—maybe me—suggested we should investigate the portal, to see if it had gotten any bigger. As that seemed like a terrible idea while our judgment was impaired by alcohol, we went right ahead and did it.

But as I stood in front of the weird, hovering, throbbing mass, and my insides churned, I began to have second thoughts.

“Kinda looks like a pussy,” Zee was saying.

I frowned at the angry tear in the air. It didn’t resemble a cat, at all.

“I suspect he means a different kind of pussy,” Victor said, standing at my right side.

“Oh.”

“Lord Fuck-Hard said pussy.” Zee snorted. “Wait, Adam didn’t say anything. Did you just read his mind?”

Victor sighed. Even in our intoxicated states, not much had changed. I wasn’t even sure Victor had changed at all, despite downing several potent Bloody Bitches with Tom’s added ingredients.

“Can you read mine?” Zee asked, as though the idea was the best idea he’d ever had. He stumbled forward and folded his arms, as though his crossed arms might stop vampire brain waves. “What am I thinking about right now?”

Victor’s eyebrows lifted. After a few moments, he said, “My penis.”

Zee’s eyes blew wide. “Fuck. Why didn’t you tell us you could read fucking minds? And now? What am I thinking about right now?”

Victor gave a heavy sigh, and said, “Your penis.”

“Sweet baby Gareth. All this fucking time you’ve been in my head?”

After catching Victor’s sneaky side glance, I figured it was time to stop his goading. “I don’t think he’s reading your mind, Zee,” I said.

“Then how did he know?”

“Honestly, it’s not that hard to figure out what you’re thinking.”

“What?” He recoiled, as though offended, then considered what he’d learned. “Yeah, okay, good point. But I don’t always think about dicks.” He backed up and eyed the portal again. “Sometimes it’s pussy.”

“That’s a very unfortunate pussy,” Victor remarked. Which was a sentence I never thought I’d hear come from his lips.

Zee’s smile twitched. “Say pussy again, daddy.”

“No.”

“Oh-kay.”

Were we really in my old room, comparing a dark, throbbing portal to female genitals? Was that a thing that was happening, or was I so drunk I’d passed out at the bar and this was some weird, feverish dream? The latter seemed more likely.

“I’d like to suggest Zodiac goes inside, and if he doesn’t return in five minutes, we leave and lock the door, sealing it off from the rest of the hotel.”

“What about saving Zodiac?” Zee asked.

“He—you have already entered it once,” Victor said. “If it was fatal, you’d already be deceased.”