Page 17

I sent McDongle away—now we had no means of paying him—and met Zee and Reynard at the bar, both sitting in silence with an empty stool between them. The jukebox played an upbeat swing song, but there were few people in the bar to hear it.

“Are you gonna explain what happened, Kitten, because His Lordship has hit maximum brood and refuses to explain why the fuck you both left that building looking like you’d been wrestling koala bears.”

Reynard arched an eyebrow. “Koala bears are small, docile creatures.”

“They’re fucking bears aren’t they? Everyone knows bears will eat your face. Whatever, Fancy Pants, stop changing the subject.”

“You mentioned bears,” Reynard snarled, clearly not in his best mood.

I sat between them and summoned Tom Collins over with a nod. Tom whipped out my whiskey and poured, while Reynard and Zee bickered about which bears were the most dangerous. It was an extensive list, that eventually included gummy bears and teddy bears.

“Is everything alright, Adam?” Tom enquired, in that way he did, strongly hinting that most problems could be fixed with more alcohol.

“I don’t know.” I sighed. “We think Gideon Cain just tried to kill us. Gremlins are eating the walls and I don’t have enough money to get rid of them. Oh, and there’s a portal to somewhere slimy in my room. Besides that, I guess everything’s good?”

Tom slung his cloth over his shoulder, straightened, and eyed my bickering companions. “Hey.” Reynard and Zee stopped arguing about bears. “Get your shit together or you’re both barred.”

I wasn’t sure if Tom could actually enforce banning them from the bar, but it had silenced them.

Victor cleared his throat and nodded. “Of course, Tom. Thank you for the intervention. I suspect bickering with Zodiac is my way of disassociating from far more pressing matters.”

Zee stirred his cocktail. “And I thought it was foreplay.”

I sipped my whiskey, and took a few moments to center myself in the hotel’s atmosphere. The only safe place left for Lost Ones. “The SOS Hotel is important,” I told them—and myself. Needing to hear it aloud so I could refocus. “If we fail, it fails.” Tom had told me the same several weeks ago, and he was right.

Victor dipped his chin. “I fear my financial situation is now as dire as my personal one. I do not know what value I can offer, but I will do everything in my power to support you.”

It had been a particularly bad morning. “We just need to think things through and deal with each problem, one at a time. So, problem number one—gremlins. We’ll keep the hotel open and catch the gremlins ourselves.” We had a few gremlin traps. It would take longer, but we didn’t have much choice.

“And do what with them?” Victor asked.

“There must be a shelter for gremlins or something?”

“No shelters. Nobody wants them,” Victor said.

“We could put them in fucking pies?” Zee said, and looked up from his drink. “Did I say that out loud?”

Not pies, but . . . “We could put them in portals?” I waited for the odd looks, or the arguments to begin, but they both seemed to be considering it.

Victor sipped his tea. “It is a convenient solution.”

A gremlin hopped onto the bar, stole one of the little cocktail umbrellas and jumped back off the edge, vanishing again. Even Tom didn’t care enough to comment.

“So, what do we do about problem number two—Gideon?” Zee asked.

“He’s a sorcerer. A portal won’t hold him,” I said, and then froze as all three of them stared. “Not that I’d suggest we shove someone into a portal. That would be bad. Obviously.”

“Perhaps it would be best if we enlist the help of Agent Leomaris at the SSD?” Victor suggested. “Attempted murder certainly comes under their remit.”

“No proof,” I said. “And Leomaris was a bounty hunter. I know they helped get us off those murder charges but Leomaris suspects there’s more going on between us and Gideon, and I don’t need them looking closer at me—at us. I don’t trust them.” Leomaris was smart, had resources, and a shady past as a bounty hunter. The whole SSD act wasn’t fooling me.

Tom pointed out the No Bounty Hunters line on the Bar Rules sign behind him.

“Nobody likes bounty hunters,” Zee agreed. “Almost fucking worse than vampires.”

That earned Victor’s scathing glare. Zee grinned back at him, then blew a kiss. “Not you, Fancy Daddy. Everyone loves you,” he crooned, in a voice so sarcastic he definitely meant Victor.

“We’ll consider these other problems later. However, there’s one more thing we should discuss, as it could impact all decisions going forward.” Victor produced a Wilson’s Guide and slid it across the bar until it stopped in front of me.