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He stared at me. “Decaffeinated green tea is an abomination. How could a house that loves you allow you to drink that kind of thing?” He went back to reading, a slight smirk on his mouth. Mm hm. He thought he was funny, did he? Well, that was an improvement over being a force of darkness.

“The house won’t allow me?” I huffed. “And what will the house allow me to drink? Tap water?”

“Try a cabinet. See what it gives you.” He made it sound so reasonable.

I scowled at him and then opened the nearest cabinet, to the right of the hideous pink stove. On the shelf were rows of pretty tins, with different labels attached to the front. The prettiest tin, with a pale green background and decorative swirls in peach, was labeled in cursive, For the heartsick. The other tins had other useful labels, like, To soothe back pain, or Courage.

I pulled out the courage one, in an orange tin with purple swirls. “Seriously?”

He shrugged, gave me an almost smile, took a big bite of his sandwich, and buried his face in the book. If he was that close to the words, he probably needed glasses. Maybe there was a tea for near-sightedness too.

I put Courage back and took down Heartsick. That’s what I was. Heartsick. But there was no cure for that other than time. I’d called him without thinking about it. He was part of my life, my heart. My everything.

I put it back and pulled out Courage. I needed the strength to keep moving forward no matter how difficult it was. When I opened the lid, out wafted a heady aroma of licorice, orange, and something sharp and pungent. “Do you think this will kill me?” I asked, holding the tin under Ray’s nose.

He sniffed then shrugged. “I don’t smell poison or sense a curse, but it may need hot water to bloom.”

“Helpful,” I muttered, but I put it on the counter and started a pot of water.

I made the tea, had a cup of the potent stuff that was surprisingly sweet without the bitter aftertaste of black tea that I disliked.

I sat at the table with Ray of Sunshine, drinking tea and hoping I could be brave. Being a single mom was terrifying, my worst nightmare. Then again, I hadn’t had nightmares about a council coming out to kill everyone I loved. Maybe I should have a new worst nightmare. Being a single mom wasn’t that big of a deal after that, right? I needed to delete his number from my phone. But I had it memorized. I had to delete his number from my brain. Maybe there was a spell for that.

When Sage came home, she stormed right into the kitchen, Donny following, trying to look cool and like he wasn’t worried that she’d kill him. Literally.

She pointed at him. “He says he’s my new tutor!”

I stood up and gave her a look. “You’re flunking math. And you tried to kill him. The two of you are going to learn to get along, which is mostly you, Sage. So you’re going to be humble about needing help, because if you didn’t need help, you wouldn’t be failing. I’m giving you the opportunity to learn and grow mentally as well as morally. You’re welcome.”

She glowered, giving Ray of Sunshine a run for his money. “I’m not going to kill him. I learned my lesson.” She turned her face so I could see her swollen cheek.

I frowned at it and went to touch it, but she pulled back before I could.

“No thanks. I’m not the only one out of control, Mom.” She whirled around, heading to the door that led to the parlor. “Come on, Miller. You get to teach me something stupid. If you gloat, I might stab you.”

I rolled my eyes. Stabbing wasn’t what I was worried about. Ray stood up and followed them, taking his book with him.

“I’m going to the grocery store. I’ll be back soon.”

“Blood feeds the darkness,” he said, glancing back at me. “Vegan will help calm your daughter, except she probably needs iron.” He shrugged, leaving me with that helpful feedback.

I got dressed and put on makeup before I left, waving at James, who was halfway up a tree on the edge of the clearing. Jerome wasn’t in sight, but he wouldn’t be far from his brother.

James waved back, smiling and kicking his bare feet like he was the happiest kid in the world. Space was good for the boys.

The grocery trip was exhausting. I kept staring at the products I usually got for Clark and had to try to think whether the rest of us would actually use that creamer, or that granola, or that vegetable.

I shook my head and tried to focus. I’d just get whatever and buy again next time, depending on what got eaten.

I stood in line with my full shopping cart, focusing on lean proteins, leafy greens, and a wide spectrum of fruits. The woman in front of me had pastries and soda. Did I want pastries and soda? I didn’t know. Like I didn’t know what I really wanted to do with my life. Ray of Sunshine was happiest immersed in wood lore. At least he knew that. What did I like? Carrying around dead birds. What did I want to do with dead birds? Stuff them? Talk to them? Bring them back to life?

No way. Necromancy was on the far side of things I didn’t believe in, and even if I did believe it was possible, I wouldn’t ever try to do it. It was one of the hardest things to attempt. And what was the point? To prove that you could? No. It was something else. Something that made no sense. But it nibbled on the back of my brain, that weird little girl who liked to collect dead things and was so sad that they always stayed dead. But they weren’t really alive, even if you animated them. They were just extensions of your own energy, right?

“Cash or credit,” the cashier said, sounding annoyed, bright red lips framing her bared teeth in a smile.

“Credit,” I said, wondering how many times she’d asked. Was it important to do what you loved? At least you should know so you could weigh your options. And it would keep bothering me until I tried it. It would never work. So what harm could it do? There was only one way to find out.

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