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“She’s nice,” Dana adds.

“Yes, she is,” I say, ignoring the stares Smithy and Romana are giving me.

I know what they’re thinking. Why aren’t I with Alice? Why haven’t I asked her out? Why haven’t I made this fake-dating thing a reality?

If it were only that easy. Besides, it doesn’t matter whether they like her. It doesn’t even matter whether I like her, which I do. I’ve always liked her. It’s because I can’t give Alice what she wants. No matter how much Darcy, Dana, Smithy, Romana, and I want Alice and me to be a thing, it’ll never happen, not once she learns the truth.

45

Alice

It’s Friday, my day off. It’s six o’clock in the morning, and I’m wide awake. Why? Because I’m worried about Owen.

He’s seemed okay at work and has thrown himself into our little gardening project, but it’s also given him time to talk, and yesterday, he mentioned he was okay at work, but not so much at home.

Owen’s also not working today. So, all night I’ve been lying awake, wondering what he’ll do with his day, how hard it’ll be for him to rattle around his empty house with no Paul to feed and walk.

He doesn’t strike me as a spontaneous kind of guy. He doesn’t decide to do something and just do it, so I know it’ll be up to me to spur him into action, to keep him busy and keep his mind focused without stressing him out. It’s the reason I’m awake this early on my day off, because I have a plan.

By eight o’clock, I’m all set. The car is packed, lunch has been purchased, and refreshments procured. All I’m missing now is Owen.

I send a text first, just in case he isn’t awake, or he has plans and I’ve totally misjudged things.

Me: Morning. R U up?

His reply comes through straight away.

Owen: Yes.

I text back.

Me: Great. I’ll be at yours in half an hour. Wear your shades.

Owen: What?

Me: It’s a surprise. See you soon.

As I’m driving over to Owen’s house, my phone rings, so I answer it with the hands-free, not noticing who’s calling as I’m too busy focusing on the road.

“Alice?” Sydney’s voice spills into my car.

“Hey, Sydney. How are you?” I ask, concentrating on the road and trying not to let the little demons in my mind convince me this is a bad call: the wedding is off, Drew’s had last-minute jitters and has done a bunk, and Sydney’s been left heartbroken with a wedding dress and no wedding to wear it to.

“I’m good. How are you?”

I relax and tell the little demons to get lost as they’re not needed today. “Great, thanks. Just on my way to Owen’s house.” And I love that this isn’t a lie, although maybe not in the context she believes me to be, but it’s better than nothing.

“You got a day off?” Sydney asks.

“Yes, thank goodness. It’s been a busy week.”

“How cute you guys take your day off together. Anyway, I’m just checking in to see if you’re both still okay for the wedding. I can’t believe it’s a week on Saturday.”

“It’s flown,” I say. “And yes, we’re fine for the wedding,” I tell her, hoping this is also true. I’ve yet to broach the subject with Owen, as it feels too soon after Paul to bring it up, but I’m going to have to mention it again at some point because, as Sydney has just pointed out, tomorrow will be one week before the wedding. “We have our outfits. We went shopping a couple of weeks ago.”

“I’m impressed you’re so organised.”

“Hey, I’ve matured, you know,” I point out, wondering how true this is when I still own a pair of lucky socks and my favourite drink is chocolate milk.