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Her smile disappeared. “Saadiq…”
“Don’t do that.”
“Do what?”
“Start putting up a wall before I even finish talking.”
She exhaled and looked away. “You forgetting something.”
“What?” I asked, genuinely confused.
“You just said you are part of the reason I’m recovering from exhaustion.”
I nodded slowly. “That’s fair.”
“And you think the cure is more Saadiq?”
“I think the cure might be a different Saadiq.”
Another skeptical look, but I decided to reveal more of my hand.
“The one who ain’t your boss. The one who ain’t calling you because the Hayashis popped up, or Zoë forgot something, or somebody can’t find a damn document. The one who just…” I paused, searching for words in a way I wasn’t used to. Usually, I knew exactly what I wanted and exactly how to ask for it. This woman had me measuring every sentence. “Wants to be around you.”
Her fingers tightened slightly around her coffee cup. I kept talking.
“I know what happened in my office got… complicated. I know I got mad afterward, and I know I handled that badly.”
“Saadiq, you left me standing in my driveway, calling your name,” she whispered.
I hated that she’d seen that part, that I’d hidden the rest. She didn’t know that every part of me had wanted to turn around, go back to her, and finish what we’d started before pride and hurt won.
I couldn’t deny that. “Yeah.”
“That hurt.” Her voice was so soft that I almost missed it.
My jaw tightened. “I know.”
“No, you didn't.”
“Then, I do now, shorty.”
She looked down. I wanted to touch her so damn badly, but I kept my hands to myself. All on her time. Still, my body leaned toward hers without permission, drawn to her warmth, her scent. Damn, I had it bad.
“I was hurt, too, Paz.” The admission was unlike me, not something I would ever admit easily.
“I know.”
“I tried to give you all the room you needed, so if you came to me, it was all your decision, something you wanted. I finally thought you chose me, then five minutes later, you trying to figure out if you regretted me.”
Her head snapped up, and she glared at me. “I did not regret you.”
She said it so forcefully that I had no choice but to believe it. For a second, neither one of us said anything.
“I know that now, too. At least, I think I do,” I said after a minute.
She sighed. “See? This is exactly why—”
“Why we need to stop talking circles around this shit.” I stepped a little closer. “Forget I’m your boss for a couple days.”
