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My spine remained straight. My head stayed high. I refused to look like I’d just found out my relationship was a lie. I kept it up all the way out the door. The muggy night hit my face the second I stepped outside, sultry enough to steal the breath I was already struggling to take. I moved away from the awning, away from the valet stand, away from the people waiting for their cars. I found a quiet spot near the side of the building, pressed one hand against the exposed brick, and laughed in disbelief.
Colleagues. Really, nigga? That was what I was after more than a year? A colleague he didn’t even work with? And then the questions sprang up in my brain. Who was she? How long had he been dating her? Did she know about me? Had he taken her to places where people knew us? Had everybody known except me? Then came the anger, boiling through me.
That weak, lying son of a bitch had sat in my house and my parents’. He’d eaten food my mama cooked. He’d met my family, slept in my bed, and talked about the life we were supposedly building but was out here kissing another woman in public. I wanted to go back inside and empty my martini over his head. Nah, I wanted to let Demon handle him. That thought was enough to make me smile a little. Adam was a cheating bastard, but death was a little excessive.
Probably.
I guess.
Unfortunately, the anger didn’t last. The hurt came next, and as hard as I tried, I couldn’t fight it all the way. I wrapped my arms around myself as pain ripped through me. Other questions I didn’t want to ask sprang up. Had I missed something? Was it my fault? I mean, I worked long hours and rescheduled dates. My career was definitely a priority. There had been nights when I left dinner early because a client had a situation, or Saadiq needed something specifically from me. I was always sure Adam understood my ambition because he shared it. Was I wrong? Did he feel like he wasn’t important enough to me?
I shook my head. I wasn’t perfect, but cheating was a choice. If he was unhappy, he could have told me. He could have broken up with me before pursuing her. Nothing I had done made his dog ass lie. Still, a little doubt plagued me.
“Fuck Adam. And fuck this cheap-ass shit, too,” I whispered, trying to rip off the anniversary bracelet he gave me. I was angry with myself for accepting any part of the blame.
“Topaz.”
I rolled my eyes. Of course he had followed me. I turned around slowly to face him. Adam stood several feet away, looking anxious as he shoved his hands into his pockets.
“Please let me explain.”
“Oh, please do, colleague,” I taunted, sarcasm dripping from each syllable.
He dropped his head guiltily. “I’m sorry. I panicked.”
“Is panic what made you stick your tongue down her throat?” I scoffed.
“She kissed me,” he defended.
I stared at him incredulously, his face illuminated by the streetlight. “Are you fucking serious?”
He sighed and shook his head once. “That came out wrong.”
“Yeah, mothafucka. It did. Who even is she, Adam?”
He rubbed a hand over his face. “Her name is Lauren. The older couple… that’s her parents. They’re partners at another firm. Patterson introduced us a few months ago,” he began, like I asked for justification. As if there were a justification.
Still, I asked, “A few months?”
“Topaz… It wasn’t supposed to happen like this.”
I laughed, but there was no amusement in my tone. “Oh, okay. And now you meeting her parents. I guess ya dirty dick lost sight of the plan.”
“Paz, I’m sorry.”
“Don’t call me Paz,” I hissed.
He stopped. That name belonged to people who cared about me. His lying ass had forfeited the right to use it.
“Topaz,” he corrected, “I never meant for you to find out like this.”
Another humorless laugh escaped me. “So, the problem isn’t what you did. It’s that I found out in a way you didn’t like.”
He lifted his hands. “No. That’s not what I meant.”
“Then please explain it to me.”
He stepped closer. “Things haven’t been right between us for a while.”
