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A relieved breath whooshed from his lips. “Good.”

I had the same reaction when I finally found the condoms. After snatching a pack of Trojans, I headed to checkout.

“Find everything?” the cashier asked as Owen and I approached.

“Um, uh…yeah, we did.”

Hesitantly, I slid out items onto the counter. After glancing between them, the man cocked his brows with an amused look. “Isn’t the kid birth control enough?”

Normally, I didn’t berate the elderly. But my nerves were fucking frayed. Instead of staring down an old man, I saw a hockey opponent who needed chirped at. “It’s more the fact I don’t want my dick rotting off when I bang your backwoods granddaughter tonight.”

His neck snapped back like I’d reached across the counter and slapped his weathered face. This would be the time in the game when I’d be thrown in the penalty box for running my mouth. Instead, I tapped my card, grabbed up the candy and condoms, and got the hell out of there.

***

Wanting to leave the scene of my verbal crime as quickly as possible, I put the lead out on the backwoods roads. I was just outside the city limits when blue and red lights flashed from behind me. “No fucking way!” I blared.

“Daddy, no,” Owen once again chastised.

“I’m sorry, bud, but Daddy really needs his naughty words today.”

“I’m gonna tell Grammy.”

“Snitch,” I muttered as I pulled off on the side of the road.

Raising my ass off the seat, I grabbed my wallet. I had my license and insurance card out as the deputy ambled up to me. After rolling down the window, I gave him an apologetic smile. “Yes, officer, I know I was speeding, and I’m very sorry. I know it’s no excuse, but my son is just desperate to see the parade.”

Of course I wasn’t going to tell him I was speeding to get away from insulting some elderly guy just trying to make a living.

“License and registration,” he commanded.

After looking at my license, his brows furrowed. Then he glanced back and forth from me to my license. “Hold on. Aren’t you the new goalie for the Heat?”

I’m not proud to say it, but over the years, I've gotten out a few tickets because of who I was. But that was in the city where I played. Was I seriously going to get the reprieve out here in the backwoods?

Giving the officer my best smile, I replied, “Yes, I am.”

His face lit up. “I can’t believe it! I’ve had season tickets for years.”

“Good for you.”

With a wink, he said, “I suppose this time I could look the other way.”

Hell yeah! “Really? That would be amazing.”

“No problem.”

“You know, to show my thanks, I could leave some merch for you at the box office the next time you’re in town.”

His eyes widened. “Seriously?”

“Of course.”

After reaching into his pocket, he pulled out a business card before handing it over to me. “In that case, let me give you a police escort to the best parking for the parade.”

Jackpot! “No, you don’t have to do that,” I replied, in my best put-on voice.

Holding up his hand, he countered, “I insist.”