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I gain nothing by marrying you.

The marred organ in his chest withered. She’d have gained that. His mangled, damaged heart. He supposed he couldn’t blame her for not desiring that. Who would?

Derek’s eyes widened.

Rafe tamped down his ire. “And you’re redirecting,” he said pointedly. “I could have sworn I heard the word love come out of your mouth. And it wasn’t followed by quim. So I’m not sure I understand.”

Liar.

“I know you have only been gone a month, Rafe, but my entire world has been turned on its head.” He paused, then whispered. “Because of a woman.”

Rafe froze at the vulnerability reflected back at him. His gaze darted away from Derek’s. Was it truly possible that both he and his best mate had somehow managed to be ruined by women at the same time? Derek couldn’t know how those words hit home. He threw back more whisky.

“This would be the love you speak of?” he said, but it was strained.

“Yes, while you were gone…” Derek stared down at his whisky, hesitating, and finally took a sip. “This slip of a woman stole my clothes, and along with them, my fucking sanity. I bloody fell in love with her. I…”

Derek met Rafe’s eyes, searching. I don’t have the answers, mate. I wish I did.

“You…?” Rafe prodded. Then his friend’s words registered, and his eyebrows shot up. “Pardon, did you say she stole your clothes?”

Derek downed the rest of his whisky and slammed the glass down on the table. “Yes. And I’m going to fucking marry her.”

Rafe’s gloves squeaked as he tightened his grip on his glass. But it did nothing for the blow those words delivered. The bone-deep envy that flooded him.

“And this chit wants to marry you as well?”

Derek nodded jerkily.

Pain ricocheted through Rafe, and it took everything in him to keep from wincing. “I’m not exactly an expert in the field, mate.” He threw back another finger of whisky and bared his teeth through a hiss. “But isn’t that a good thing? You both want to marry each other,” he said bitterly. “Why the bloody hell were you sulking in the dark? Why do you look like you’re about to shite a brick?”

Derek opened his mouth, hesitated. Then closed it. Grunted. Opened it again, but nothing. He growled.

Rafe stared dumbly at his friend. What in the blazes? “Were there supposed to be words accompanying…all of that?”

Derek shot him a glare. “I don’t deserve her, Rafe. I’m not a good man. I’m a fucking arse, and I know it. And I can’t help but think I’m just waiting for the final blow to fall. That this is all a sick jest by fate. Everyone always leaves. Except for you and Dorothea. You two are my constants. It’s hard to believe I could have someone else too.”

Rafe grimaced. “Christ. This is really awkward. I’m exceedingly uncomfortable.”

“I know,” Derek gritted.

He and Derek didn’t do this.

Rafe shifted in his seat. “Listen, Dare. You both want to fucking marry each other. Just do it. Could it all go to shite? Yes. It could be a fucking disaster of Shakespearean proportions. She could rip your heart out and place it on a stake for the buzzards to feast on. Or your ballocks—I’m not sure which would be worse, probably the ballocks. But what are your other options? At least she wants to bloody marry you.”

Derek blinked. “Was that supposed to make me feel better? Because I think I might actually feel worse.”

“That was my best effort.” Rafe threw back the rest of his whisky. He shuddered. “All this speak of emotions has me twitchy.”

Derek snorted a soft laugh. “You and me both. You should have seen me when I first realized I had feelings for her.” He rolled his glass between his hands, staring at the amber liquid. “I know it might sound simple,” he said softly. “But a lot has happened since I met her. Obstacles. Things like the foundling home’s funding.” His gaze flicked up to meet Rafe’s.

Understanding hit Rafe. Lord Wentworth. Marrying his daughter. “We’ll figure that out, mate. Things weren’t as dire as they first appeared at Ironcrest.” Thanks to her. Everything was thanks to her. The good…and the bad. “I still cannot fund the entirety of the home, but depending on what we draw up for the payment schedule, I may be able to assist with the later payments.”

“That is fantastic news, Rafe,” Derek said.

“It’s an immense bloody relief. We still have a lot of rebuilding to do. And it won’t be quick. Fortunately, Theo is exceedingly competent. Fucking brilliant, really.” His throat tightened, lungs closing off. She was incredible.

And she’d made it very clear she didn’t feel the same. It wasn’t the easiest for him to wrap his head around how she felt about marriage. It was extremely unconventional. But he’d thought…if she felt even a hint of what he did. If she… He swallowed. It didn’t matter. She didn’t.