Page 90
“You…won’t.”
She grimaced and went searching for a shirt. When she finally had that on, she braced herself and faced him again. “You’re not thinking, Rafe. You cannot marry me.”
His chin jerked in. “Why ever not?”
“I’m your steward.”
“I don’t believe there are any laws that prevent me from marrying my steward…as long as they’re a woman, of course.”
She rolled her eyes. “Don’t be daft. You must marry a lady. Someone of your station. I am crass and bold and the opposite of what you must marry, quite frankly.” Which was exactly how she wanted to be. Theo was happy with who she was, but a lady she was not.
His rebuttal was written all over his face, so she put an end to it. “And.” His mouth slowly closed. “I don’t want to marry you,” she finished quietly.
His features tightened, and her gut twisted at the blow she’d just delivered.
Hurt flashed in his eyes before he quickly schooled it. “I see…”
He didn’t.
“Marriage is not something I want, Rafe.”
He nodded stiffly as he got out of bed and started collecting his things.
“Yes, I have working ears. I heard you the first time. You don’t want to marry me. Being my duchess is abhorrent in your eyes.”
Her eyes sank shut, and her head fell back. She wanted to scream to the heavens. Bloody hell. She hated this. She drew in a breath and looked at him again. His back was to her as he got dressed.
“Being a duchess in general does sound rather abhorrent to me, yes. But it is not you, Rafe. I don’t want to marry anyone. I will never ever belong to a man. That doesn’t mean we can’t keep sharing…” She waved around helplessly. “Whatever this is between us until you depart.”
He chuckled, and the derision in it had her stiffening. She didn’t like that laugh.
“I understand now.”
She highly doubted that.
He faced her, visage expressionless. “You want this until I depart. A bit of fun with a duke.”
“I am not the one who dropped a sex contract on your desk,” she gritted out. “So do not turn this around like I am at fault. This always had an end date, Rafe. One you set. One we both agreed on.”
He threw his arms up. “Things change! I don’t want this to end.”
Her mouth opened and closed. She couldn’t deny she felt the same. But that didn’t change reality. That wasn’t enough to make her want to marry him. To give up everything. She gave up herself if she married him. And she’d never do that.
“Then extend your stay,” she said. “This doesn’t have to end. But that doesn’t mean we need to get married.”
“Please, say it with more disgust, I beg of you.”
“It is disgusting!” She attempted a calming breath, but it did nothing to slow her racing pulse. “Marriage is purely a receipt. For your purchase of a woman. And yes, I realize in many cases women are willing to trade themselves for what they will gain from marriage, but that is not me. I gain nothing by marrying you.”
He flinched.
God bloody dammit. “Because I am self-sufficient,” she quickly added. “I earn my own money. I own my own home. I hold a position I enjoy. I am well respected. I do not need a man.”
He was nodding, but she didn’t think it was him agreeing with her. “Yes, and there are no benefits to marrying me. A duke. Like increased wealth. Title. Power. Prestige. A bloody castle. Nothing of consequence.”
What a man thing to say. “I don’t want those things. I don’t want title and power. I like my life. I bloody love it! It is simple. And it is perfect.”
“Perfect without me in it.”
