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My bottom lip started trembling again.

“No,” she said. “You lost your virginity when you were 16. I saw that binder your dad gave you at your sweet 16.”

“Binder?” I asked.

“That binder full of men. Wasn’t it full of like...prostitutes? To lose your virginity to?”

“Oh. That binder.” I sniffed. My dad was ridiculous. “I couldn’t decide which one to order. I took too long going over it and then it was midnight and my birthday was over.”

Scarlett opened her mouth and closed it again. Like she couldn’t believe it had taken me too long to order something. Even though she always complained about it.

She shook her head. “But you always talk about all these guys you hook up with...”

“I didn’t have sex with any of them.” My voice cracked. “Who would I have slept with? I’ve been in love with Mr. Halifax since I was 15.”

She stared at me. “Soph.”

Tears started streaming down my cheeks again. “I wanted it to be him. He’s all I’ve ever wanted.”

She shook her head. But I don’t think it was because she didn’t believe me. I think it was because she didn’t want to.

“I love him. And he doesn’t love me back, Scar. He doesn’t want anything to do with me. I gave him everything and he left. He left me.”

And then I saw tears trailing down her cheeks too.

I couldn’t handle her being sad for me when I already felt sad enough for myself. I turned around to face the wall.

She wrapped her arms around me as we both cried. She held me tight until my body stopped shaking.

“Tell me what you want me to do,” Scarlett said.

I just shook my head. There was nothing she could do.

There was a knock on the door.

“Sweetie?” my mom said from the other side. “Can I come in?”

“I think you should tell her,” Scarlett said as she slowly sat up. “Your mom always knows how to make things better.”

I didn’t think anything could make this better. So I didn’t respond. I just kept staring at the wall.

Scarlett squeezed my arm and the door opened.

“Sophie,” my mom said gently as she sat down where Scarlett had been a moment ago. “You need to tell me what’s going on. Your father is worried sick.”

“I just don’t feel good. I need to be alone.”

“Sophie, look at me.”

I slowly rolled over and looked up at my mom. And then I burst into tears again.

“Sweetie, you need to tell us what’s going on.”

“I don’t want anyone else to know.” I was so mortified. This was the most embarrassing thing in the world. Falling in love with a guy who hated you. And having sex for the first time and then said guy ghosting you? God.

“Okay.” She put her fingers under my chin so that I’d look back up at her. “But can you please tell me?”

“You promise you won’t tell anyone else?”