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“Jesus,” he said. “You need to go to the nurse.”

I didn’t need the nurse. I needed Mr. Halifax! “I can’t breathe.”

RJ put his hands on my shoulders. “Sophie, talk to me. What the hell is going on? You’re really scaring me.”

I didn’t know how to put it into words. I’d thought I’d gotten Mr. Halifax fired. I’d been so worried. But that wasn’t it at all. He’d left. Without even saying goodbye. I’d been worried about him but he didn’t care about me at all. I thought he’d loved me back.

I felt the tears falling down my cheeks.

“Soph.” RJ’s voice cracked like he couldn’t handle seeing me falling apart. “You gotta tell me what’s going on before I lose my mind.”

“He left me.”

“Who?’

He left me. He left me. He left me. The words tumbled around in my head. This isn’t happening. This had to be some kind of misunderstanding. I’d go wait outside his apartment building to talk to him.

I turned around and started running toward the front doors of Empire High.

“Soph!” RJ called as he ran after me.

I saw Scarlett poke her head out of Mr. Halifax’s classroom. But I kept running. I pushed open the doors and the icy winter air hit me in the face.

And I realized I couldn’t go to Mr. Halifax’s apartment building. Because he’d already moved.

I tried calling him again.

“This number is no longer in service.”

He’d moved. He’d changed his phone number. He’d disappeared. I thought he loved me back, but he wanted nothing to do with me. I shook my head. This didn’t make any sense! Why would he do this? Had he really never cared at all?

RJ stepped in front of me. “You need to tell me what’s going on so I can fix it.”

He couldn’t fix this. No one could. “He left me.” I bent forward, grabbing my stomach, as a sob ripped through me. “He left me.”

“Who?” RJ asked. “What the fuck is going on?”

“Mr. Halifax left,” Scarlett said. She walked out into the cold and stood beside me. “He got some new job out of state. Sophie, I’m so sorry.” Her eyes were watery like she was breaking with me. And that just broke me more.

I sunk down onto the front steps. My whole body shook as I cried.

RJ didn’t say a word. But he sat down next to me and pulled me into his arms.

“He left me,” I sobbed into RJ’s chest.

“It’s going to be okay, Soph,” RJ said and rubbed his hand up and down my back.

How was anything going to be okay ever again? I gave Mr. Halifax everything.

And he...left.

Chapter 19 – I Wanted It To Be Him

Monday

RJ dropped me off at home. He said a bunch of stuff, but I wasn’t listening. I got the gist. He was going to find Mr. Halifax. But I didn’t think Mr. Halifax wanted to be found. Especially by me.

I felt like a zombie walking into the kitchen.