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"I'm kidding." He shakes his head and slowly exhales smoke, his cigarette bright orange in the darkness. "It's fun to see you panic."

"Not fun for me," I point out, crossing my arms in front of my chest. But either he doesn't hear me, or he ignores it.

"No offense, Kieran, but it was clear that you and Evan worked better as friends."

"Geez. Thanks." I roll my eyes, glad he can’t see it in this dark corner.

"But you make Brooke happy. So, I guess I'm glad Evan is your ex, because otherwise the two of you wouldn’t have met."

I grin and nudge his shoulder with mine. "Oh, how the dice fall."

"Indeed." He breathes out another cloud of smoke. "You know, I've always been curious. Did you ever hear from your family again?"

An ache shoots through my chest, and the smile slowly slips off my face.

"Sorry, you don't have to answer."

"No, it's okay." I clear my throat and rub the back of my neck. "I haven't heard from them again. But to be fair, I blocked my parents’ numbers and everything else I could find the moment I could think clearly."

“And your sister?”

I stare into the distance. The occasional star glimmers through dark grey clouds. “She didn’t have a phone or e-mail address when… I left. And I don’t have any public social media.”

“Does she?” My heart beats in my throat.

“I don’t know.” I couldn’t bring myself to check. Because if she has, then what? Do I reach out? What if she’s not interested?

Even worse, what if she adopted my parents’ beliefs and tells me to fuck off?

"Oh, there you two are." Emily pops her head through the barn door, accompanied by a loud wave of ‘Last Christmas.’ She quickly closes it behind her and makes her way over to us. "Jamie." She clicks her tongue, but doesn't do much more than shoot him a disapproving stare.

"Sorry, sorry." He dabs the cigarette out on the concrete wall behind him and throws the butt into a nearby bin.

"Thank you, sweetie." She joins us, leaning against the wall and staring at the main house. "What are you two talking about?"

"My family," I find myself confessing, staring at a particularly bright star in the distance.

"Oh.”

“I just asked him if they ever wanted to reconnect." Their heads turn to me, and I softly shake mine. Maybe I should have taken Jamie up on his offer, because my fingers are itching with the need to do… something. So I stuff them in my pockets.

"The door is well and truly closed. My father made his stance pretty clear, my mom let him and now..." I glance from Jamie to Emily. "I don't need them in my life anymore. It took me forever to get to this point, but truly," I stare at the clear sky. "I'm mostly happy."

"I'm glad." Emily squeezes my forearm. "You know, I was kind of looking forward to having you as a son-in-law back then."

My head shoots to her. "Really?"

"Really." She nods, her hand still a warm presence on my arm. "I was devastated when Evan told me you two broke up." Her lips pull into a grin. "I'm glad another child of mine caught your eye."

"Even more glad it's not me." Jamie furrows his eyebrows. "I'm sorry, Kieran, but I'm straight as..." He pauses and taps his lower lip. "I can't think of anything, but you know how the saying goes."

"You mean how spaghetti is straight until it gets wet?" I shoot him a cheeky grin. It earns me a subtle middle finger.

"Nope." He vehemently shakes his head. "Not that one."

"Anyway, I'm glad you moved here." Emily grins and pats my arm again. "Evan would never admit it, but he's happy about it too. And Brooke? She's positively beaming. Thank you again for what you did for her shelter. And the potential sanctuary."

"Of course." I shrug. "If she'd let me, I'd pay it outright, but we both know she wouldn’t let me do that."