Page 25

Being around him was dangerous on many levels. I had gone weeks without feeding in the past. The impulse, the unsatiated hunger that screamed under my skin, usually rose within forty-eight hours after a feed, but I’d learned to ignore it. Over four centuries, I had challenged myself to abstain for great stretches of time. Cristofer didn’t understand my petulance or my bone-deep revulsion over who I’d been forced to become.

Among my species, I was quite possibly the only one not horrified by Iulian’s captivity. Iulian, a man I had once called uncle. I hated him with every fiber of my being. It was he who had changed me against my will. It was he who had left my family to die.

For four centuries, I’d rebelled and fought against my ingrained urges, hating who I’d been forced to become. For four centuries, I’d longed for the final death. For an end to this misery.

The only reason I had traveled this far and intended to rescue him was that the alternative was worse. His death, should Valerius allow it to come to that, would bring unimaginable horrors.

I had fully intended to do my job and return to my reclusive life.

Meeting Ensley had destabilized everything. The warm blood running through his veins thrummed at a decibel my astute hearing couldn’t ignore. It made my teeth ache, and my skin burn. It weakened my resolve, and I was hungry to the point of madness. The cravings were always worse when attraction was involved.

I was so out of control Monday night after he’d dropped me off that I almost caved to temptation. My base urges begged to be satisfied, but I fought against the pull, refusing to feed, no matter how desperate the itch. The craving hadn’t passed, but I managed it better. Seeing him again would do me no favors.

Two more of Ensley’s friends arrived.

After our encounter on Monday evening, I’d contemplated various ways I might get information from Ensley without him learning of my family’s affairs. I hadn’t come up with a plan but felt compelled to be in his company. He was a connection to the city and her secrets, and both Seamus and Cristofer were convinced that integration with humans was the key to learning where Iulian was being held.

Except, I couldn’t go inside the building.

The phone Ensley had helped me acquire the other day sat heavy in my pocket. I reached for it every so often but abandoned the idea when I couldn’t figure out what to say. Apart from contacting Seamus and Cristofer and giving them an update, I hadn’t used the device.

Ensley appeared at the window. He glanced along the street, and I didn’t have to be a mind reader to know he was wondering if I’d decided not to come. Aware I was partly exposed, I stepped into a darker shadow in the alley, but his gaze snapped in my direction the instant I moved.

I froze, but it was too late. Our gazes caught and locked.

He waved for me to come up, but I couldn’t. The gesture wasn’t enough, and desire would not get me through the door.

Ensley retreated. A moment later, he appeared from the stairwell that led to his flat.

We stared at one another for a heartbeat. He didn’t call out or wave me over. Instead, he let the heavy door fall closed as he checked for traffic and crossed the street.

Ensley was without a jacket, and with the vanishing sun came a night chill. He stuffed his hands into the pockets of his jeans and rolled his shoulders to his ears. Goose bumps danced along his bare arms.

He stopped at the mouth of the alley. A few wispy strands of hair had tumbled from his bun and blew around his face. A day’s worth of stubble dotted his jaw. The delicious vein in his neck pulsed. I couldn’t look away. Saliva pooled in my mouth.

This was a terrible idea.

“What are you doing?”

I didn’t have an answer that made sense, so I shrugged, eyeing the window above the comic book store, where one of his friends appeared, spying on us.

Ensley followed my gaze and huffed. “Ignore him. Zig’s a nosy bastard. He’s curious who I invited. Did you change your mind?”

“No.”

But when I didn’t advance, Ensley cocked his head to the side, a pinch between his brows. “Is something the matter?”

Everything, I wanted to say. My curse prevented me from prompting him. I glanced at the window again. His friend Zig was gone.

“There’s no pressure. I told them you could shadow me tonight. Watch me play and learn the rules as we go. If you have fun, you can come back next week and create your own character.”

“I hate to be a bother.”

“You’re not. I want you here.” Ensley held out a hand, silently beckoning me with hope and uncertainty in his eyes. Then, he spoke the words I needed to hear. “Come inside. Let me introduce you to my friends.”

The invisible barrier disintegrated. The physical release was indescribable but visceral.

I reached for Ensley’s hand, knowing in my unbeating heart that developing a connection with this human was a risk. A new power took hold of me. One I didn’t have the urge to fight.