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He drank more wine and set the glass aside. “I’d let you. If you wanted or needed…”
“I know you would. It’s a dangerous habit.”
“I’d rather you be at full strength and not risk your life by going about this in a state of… depletion? Is that what you call it?”
“I’m not depleted, Ensley. I’m fine. Perhaps in a few days we can revisit your offer.”
He picked up his fork and continued to eat with less enthusiasm. “What’s the end goal?”
“What do you mean?”
“What happens when you free Iulian? Will you leave? Go back to London or wherever you’re living in Europe?”
“That was the original plan, but now… I don’t know. Leaving feels impossible. The thought of walking away from you, from this…”
Ensley no longer ate. He pushed the noodles around his plate, lost in his head. I removed the fork and set it aside before taking his hand and squeezing it.
He wouldn’t meet my eyes.
“I can’t leave, Ensley. Moreover, I don’t want to. I didn’t think this could ever happen. Not to me.”
He cut his gaze from his plate and studied my face like he didn’t believe me or was afraid to hope.
“This is new,” I continued, “and I’m scared for what it will do to me in the end. For centuries, I’ve been firmly convinced that my kind should not mix with humans. We are a stain on the earth. We deserve to rot in misery for a million years.”
“No.” The word was barely a whisper. Tears brimmed his eyes.
“Believe me. Not everyone feels the way I do. I’m in the minority. Cristofer has taken many human lovers. He’s even changed a few, an action I vehemently oppose. He doesn’t suffer from this curse. Not like me. He embraces it.”
“If you went back—”
“Didn’t you hear me say I can’t? Don’t you understand, love? My heart, or whatever remains of that rotten organ, is already entwined with yours. Be it next week, next year, or sixty years from now, our parting will be a devastation I may not survive.”
His lips parted, and his eyes shimmered with unshed tears. “I love you, Mordecai.” The words, spoken so softly they might have gone unheard if not for my enhanced hearing, struck a chord. That was it.
“I think that’s what I’m trying to say too. Forgive me. I have no experience in matters of the heart. You’ve awoken something in me. I can’t go back to how I was before. I don’t want to. I love you.”
Ensley shoved his plate aside and leaned over the table, joining our mouths in a kiss that echoed across centuries. I’d often wondered why I’d been cursed. Why I’d been forced to endure a life so undesirable and wanting. Perhaps it was God’s plan all along. Perhaps I was born in the wrong time, and I was meant to take this journey through hell to reach my nirvana.
The clock on the bedside table changed. The highlighted numbers marked the hour of ten past two. Ensley’s slowed heart rate indicated he’d entered a deep slumber. Torn between staying with my lover and my duty to my king and kind, I struggled to untangle our limbs and leave.
We made love after dinner. Twice. Each time, Ensley had pushed my boundaries, extending his neck in a silent plea. He wanted me to bite him. To feed. I’d pressed my tongue against his fluttering pulse as the savage desire screamed through my body.
“Yes,” he’d whispered. “Please.”
Somehow, somehow, I resisted.
The frosty November night turned the air crisp. The clear sky sported a moon so full and bright, its spots and streaks stood out against the darker volcanic plains. A hazy ring surrounded it. There it hung, a fixture among a sea of stars. For a long time, I stood on the pavement outside Ensley’s flat, mesmerized by its opulence. Its lure was a near physical sensation that tugged at something deep inside me. It called to me. We were kin.
Instead of heading to the eyot like I planned, I aimed for the compromised mansion. It was night, and the advantage would be mine should I run into hunters, unlike the fortified island, with its underground chamber meant to hold the greatest of our kind captive. I hoped I could box my soil and transport it back to Ensley’s.
This particular racial need made him uncomfortable, but it was a fact he would need to come to terms with if we were to pursue something long-term.
Unsurprisingly, the hunters had tampered with the mansion. The fine cracks around the front door and first floor windows had been filled with a substance that repelled me, although I wasn’t sure what it was. A bed of white garlic blossoms lined the porch, emitting their stench into the air. A wooden cross had been nailed to the door.
Effective strategies, if not for their oversight.
Either Valerius’s hunters were imbeciles, or the usurper had failed to pass along vital information because the second-floor windows were untouched, allowing me entry. Scaling the rough side of the mansion was child’s play. Dissolving into smoke and easing through the poorly sealed frame took no time and little effort.
