Page 88

She laughs a little loudly at that. A little too unhappily. “Is that all you know me as? Of course it is.”

My parents spent years telling me Odenton was unsafe, but this, with another covenant member, is the least safe moment I’ve ever experienced here. I take a wary step backward and look around again. “I, uh, have to be⁠—”

“Do you know why I had to marry Brother Humboldt?” she demands. “Because your father ruined me. He’d have married me if your mother hadn’t come into the picture.”

My eyes go wide. “Umm…maybe you’re confusing him with someone else? My dad was only twenty when he got married.”

Her eyes narrow at that, glittering in a way that makes her look a little off-kilter. “We were in the same class at the mission. I blamed your mother for a long time—that’s how I recognized you, you’re the spitting image of her—but really it was him, wasn’t it? Forcing her hand, they say.”

“That doesn’t sound like something my father would do,” I say staunchly.

She gives another unhappy laugh. “Of course it doesn’t. Your father is the perfect church elder now, isn’t he? But he’s charismatic. He can talk you out of your money, your beliefs…your skirt. And if you don’t come willingly, he forces the issue. Ask your mother. Ask Kelly Maguire.”

My father. It’s impossible.

This woman is clearly insane. I shouldn’t be talking to her. It might not even be safe to talk to her. I should run in the other direction.

“Who’s Kelly Maguire?” I hear myself ask the question and want to slap my own face.

“The teacher he raped,” she says. “Did you never wonder why you suddenly had to move? I know they tell you not to ask questions, little girl. But believe me, you should ask them while you still can.”

I stumble backward and then turn toward New Hope at a near run.

She’s crazy. Crazy. Everyone in New Hope hates her, and who’d want to marry such an unkempt woman, and I can tell people suspect she killed her husband even if they never say it aloud.

The teacher he raped.

If you don’t come willingly, he forces the issue.

No matter how hard I try, I can’t unhear it.

Ann and her mother are at the house when I return. They sit at the kitchen table with matching expressions of fury.

“Who told you that you could go to Odenton?” Mrs. Hoffman demands. “And dressed like that?”

Some hysterical part of me wants to laugh. My father might have assaulted someone and gotten away with it, but me? I’m not going to get away with wearing jeans.

I can’t afford to make this situation worse if it can be helped, however. My parents will take her side if they hear...though I’m no longer certain I should care about my parents’ opinions either. “I’m sorry. I was just thinking and lost track of time.”

“We were going to take you to the zoo today, but I’m not sure you deserve that privilege,” she says. “Why don’t you go down to the basement and think about how you can avoid losing track of things in the future?”

I freeze, torn between laughter and shock. I can’t believe she thinks going to the zoo would be such a treat, but also, as Kappy would say, what the fuck? Does she think she can punish me as if I’m her child? Am I going to spend the rest of spring break down in their basement? I move, at last, toward the stairs, but I’m not spending three more days here, being scolded and gossiped about and sent to the basement like a child.

I text my mother as I walk.

ME

Ann and I aren’t getting along. Can I stay at Miriam’s with you guys?

MOTHER

There’s no room here. You need to make up with Ann. The Hoffmans were very kind to invite you.

Argh.

The basement door opens. I put my phone facedown as Ann descends with her mother’s scowl on her face. “You lost track of time? You can’t expect me to believe that.”

I’m done with this good girl façade I’ve been attempting since we arrived. She’s not worth the effort.