Page 112

His gaze flickers to mine. “Yeah. You're still...okay with this?”

I nod. How soon can we leave? I want to blurt it out, I want to push him as hard as possible to get us on the next plane, but it'll be too obvious. “What happens next?”

“I think we should give it a few days, but then I'll call the elders and tell them we wish to be married.”

A few days. It's going to feel like a lifetime. But he's right...I've been too stubborn for too long for anyone to believe I'd just cave.

“Okay,” I say. “And then we go back?”

He frowns. “I doubt it can happen that fast, Grace. They'll need to replace me, after all.”

But...but...if we wait too long, Kappy and Ford will both be up north. Lauren will be in Virginia, Zoe in Texas, Alex in Michigan.

“I don't want to be here,” I tell him. “I especially don't want to be here when the kids from my cohort arrive.”

“But they're your friends,” he argues.

No, they're not.

He's picturing us all as adults, socializing. He's picturing talking to those girls' husbands in the backyard while I'm in the kitchen with the women, readying a big meal. I can't believe I ever dreamed of an outcome like that too.

“How will we explain that I came here early, though?” I ask. “I don't want what happened in Penhallow following me around forever.”

Tommy shakes his head. “It won't. No one will know. We'll just tell them the church made an exception for you because you didn't want to remain in Penhallow.”

Shit. My cohort won't arrive for another six weeks. I can't deal with another six weeks of this. Especially not when Tommy truly believes we're getting married.

I need to try another strategy. “Would you like to remain here?” I ask, doing my best to sound as if I'm open to the possibility.

He hangs his head. “No. Of course not. The only reason I'm here now is because my father made me stay. He said I'd be stuck with the dregs back in New Hope if I didn't get engaged to someone before I left.”

I'm chilled by how clinical and predatory it is. He'd have pretended to love me, or Jessa Mae, or Ann—any of us—simply because it's what his father wanted.

It's childlike, but I can't throw too many stones. I was a child for a long time too.

In the meantime, he needs a reason to worry. He needs a ticking clock.

“I…” I do my best to fake bashfulness. “There was a boy who liked me when I was still in New Hope. Everyone thought we'd marry, including him. I think it could be awkward.”

“Did you like him?” he demands.

I shrug. “He seemed really nice, but you know how things are there. We'd barely spoken.”

“Who is it?” he asks.

I hate bringing a name into this, but I need Tommy to feel a little threatened. To realize there's something that could blow up all his plans. And Sam is handsome, and tall, and from a very good family. He'd be a threat.

“Sam? Sam Larkin.”

Tommy's mouth presses flat. Sam might be a few years younger, but Tommy is wise enough to recognize competition when he hears it.

“Sam's so nice,” I continue. “I’ll speak to him privately and explain. I’m sure it will be fine.”

Tommy could never play poker. His thoughts are flashing across his face: What will Grace tell him? Will she tell him she’s marrying me by force? If he really wants her, he won’t let that stop him.

“Well,” Tommy says after a long moment, “you probably need to go back before I do to plan the wedding.”

My worried brows match his. “If that's what you think is best.”