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One of the guys raises a brow. “Only someone who hasn’t spent much time here would say that.”

Our ride back to the airport is entirely uneventful, certainly no scarier than sitting in the back of a New York City cab. The worst part of the whole trip is how carsick I am until the medicine kicks in.

I have to wonder, once more, how much of this was actual worry on Josh’s part and how much was him just being not wanting to be seen with me.

I guess it doesn’t matter. It’s over now, either way.

One of the guards escorts me all the way to the plane. “Thank you,” I tell him when I reach the door.

“If it makes you feel any better,” the guy says, “he called in a favor for you he’d never call in for himself.”

What does that mean?

It really doesn’t matter, though. It just goes to show how fucking unnecessary it all actually was.

45

DREW

When I finally land in LA, a full day later, there’s a text from Tali. The picture she’s sent shows Hayes holding a tiny human in the palm of his hand.

It’s a girl! it says. Audrey Bell Flynn.

I marvel at the photo. While I’m familiar with how people are created, I’ve never seen one come from people I know, people I’ve known since the beginning of their relationship, with all its starts and stops. It’s…a miracle. Out of their tortured back and forth, this gorgeous little girl was created.

They took the long journey and it paid off for them. Most of us aren’t that lucky.

I head to the first-class lounge at LAX to shower and change clothes, since I’m too gross right now to be seen much less be in the presence of a newborn.

I have texts from Davis about the interviews and some movie premiere in a few weeks for which he’s found me a date. I guess I’ve got no reason to say no at this point, do I? I also have several missed calls from Josh and several texts asking me to let him know when I’m back in LA. Responsible as always, our Joshua. Making sure everyone’s taken care of.

I’m back, I type, nothing more, and then I hit send. His obligation is done and so is mine.

I reach the showers and have just closed the door behind me when he calls. “How did it go?” he asks. “There weren’t any issues?”

“It was just peachy,” I reply. “I’m getting in the shower here so—”

“Drew, wait,” he says with a sigh. “I’m so sorry about how that all happened. I know you meant well and—”

“It’s fine,” I interrupt. “Believe me, I’ve learned my lesson. You’re the only one allowed to pay a surprise visit. So I guess in five years or whenever the hell you’re free to travel and willing to be seen with me, I’ll just wait for a knock on the door and drop all my plans.”

“You can’t be serious right now,” he says. “Do you have any idea how much danger you put yourself in? Do you have any idea—”

“Please stop,” I say. My throat aches with the desire to cry. “You made it abundantly clear when I was there that I was nuts to have shown up and I definitely don’t need to hear it all over again. More to the point, this is done. So you don’t need to worry about me anymore.”

“Drew,” he says hoarsely, “don’t do this. I know it’s a messed-up situation, but I’d give anything to—”

I’d give anything to—. Those are the words that bring me up short. I’ve heard that before. It was bullshit then, and it’s bullshit now.

“No, Josh, you actually wouldn’t give anything, because if that was true you’d be here. And if that was true, you’d be willing to tell your family and you wouldn’t have hidden me from your colleagues. Let’s call a spade a spade: you’re not willing to give up a fucking thing.”

And then I hang up, block his number, and get into the shower where I cry like a child for a very long time.

* * *

A nurse ushers me back to Tali’s room. She, of course, is gorgeous and radiant, smiling wide when she sees me.

Only Tali would look this freaking cute right after giving birth. Hayes sits in the corner, still in scrubs, holding a baby so tiny in his arms she hardly seems real. There is something soft on his face, something I saw there on the day he and Tali married. He flashes me a quick smile but then his gaze is on the bundle once more, so besotted with tiny Audrey he can barely stand to look away.