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“This ain’t grief,” I told her.

“Then if you’re serious, act serious. Don’t play with that girl like you did with Nikki. Don’t have her looking stupid. Y’all can stop sneaking,” she said.

“I hear you.”

“And call Nikki’s sister. You not calling is making you look a little suspect.”

“I will.”

“Today, Shameek,” she said before opening the door and leaving.

All I could do was sit there. The family was noticing the shit between Kyenna and me. For months, I had been worried about Kyenna being the one scared of what everyone would think. I was the one making the shit obvious. My phone went off with Kyenna’s name.

Ky: You at work?

Me: Yeah

Ky: I need to talk to you later

I just stared at the message. It was the same feeling I had when Nikki’s ass would say that shit. With a woman, that could mean anything.

Me: Bout what?

She took long enough to respond that I almost called her ass.

Ky: Us

“Fuck!”

That was not what I wanted to see. I stood and grabbed my keys. On the drive home, I tried not to create ten different conversations in my head. Maybe Kyenna wanted out. That was possible. She had looked at me differently after I told her about Nikki. I knew she was being cautious. I didn’t blame her. If the roles were reversed and Kyenna told me she killed Lloyd after an argument, I would have questions too. Actually, I would’ve probably helped her hide the nigga body. The thought of losing Kyenna was about to drive me crazy. I had lost my brother and Nikki. I wasn’t about to keep watching muthafuckas leave my life and act like it didn’t affect me. I made it home and sent Kyenna a text.

Me: My place?

Ky: Yes. Around 6.

I looked at my watch, and that was four hours away. This shit was about to drive me crazy, waiting to see what she had to say. I had fallen in love with Kyenna, and she was about to look me in the face and tell me we were done before we could get started. The whole conversation had me more nervous than any gun I had ever had pointed at me. By six-fifteen, Kyenna still wasn’t there. I stood at my kitchen island checking the time like a bitch waiting on a prom date. I had showered, changed my clothes twice, and cleaned up shit that was already cleaned by the maid.

At six-thirty, the garage notification went off. I checked the cameras to see Kyenna dressed down, wearing jeans, a shirt, and slides. Her appearance made me uneasy. She only dressed like that around people she was comfortable with or when she didn’t give a fuck what they thought. I waited for her in the kitchen. She walked in and sat her purse on the counter. I walked around and pulled the barstool out for her to sit. I stayed standing for a minute before eventually sitting across from her. Kyenna didn’t rush to speak. She rested her hands together and looked at me like she was figuring out how to word whatever was on her mind. I hated the feeling in my stomach.

“Ky, just say it,” I told her.

“I’ve been thinking about Nikki.”

“Okay.”

“Don’t get defensive. I’m not here to judge you.”

“Shit, it feels like you been judgin’ me for days now.”

“No, I’ve been processing for the last few days. There is a difference, Meek. You told me you killed a woman you loved because an argument got out of hand. Whether you think it was justified or not, that changes how I look at certain things.”

“I figured that much.”

“And you already know you’ve been getting possessive with me. Lloyd can breathe in my direction, and you're ready to crash out. So yes, I had to sit with the fact that you killed Nikki and then asked me to trust that your jealousy with Lloyd is somehow different.”

I leaned forward. “Ky, I would never hurt you.”

“Did you tell Nikki that, too?”