Page 43

It takes me a moment to realize the spanking is over. Fingers trace circles over my overheated skin, so tender and sweet, and I try to bite back the sob, but it’s too late. The cries wrench from my throat, and my whole body shakes as I lose myself to devastation.

“Sireno.” The voice is soft in my ear, and hands gently maneuver me up so I’m once again straddling Daddy’s lap. Tears blur my vision and the skin on my ass burns, but I press forward until I find the stubble on his neck, pressing my face there as I try to breathe.

“Let it all move through you,” he says, as his hands rub soothingly up and down my back. “Look it right in the eye, and then let it go. I am here for you. Feel it all, and let me hold you, sireno.”

It’s too easy to do what he says. I let go.

I’m not sure how long we sat there, Javier’s body steady under mine. Even my heart, which so frequently feels like it’s racing out of control, slows down to mirror the slow, steady up and down of the chest below me. Eventually, I draw back from my favorite place tucked against his neck, rubbing at my swollen eyes. I am empty, drained and hollow, but at least I can breathe now. The disappointment is still there, but it’s not choking me anymore.

“I am going to give you a half an hour,” Javier says, his dark eyes holding mine. “Get cozy, play your game, and forget about everything for a bit.” He carefully moves me from his lap, propping me up in the corner with the pillow behind me. Within seconds I have a second pillow behind my head, a lightweight blanket draped over my legs, the controller in my lap, and a bottle of water on the floor next to me.

“I hate her,” I admit, speaking the words to his broad back.

Turning back, Javier kneels beside me, the same way he crouches beside the pool when he coaches. “She has not given you any reason to feel otherwise. She keeps doing hateful things to you, things that threaten you and the life you are trying to build. There is no excuse or rationalization that can take the hurt away.”

“I know, but sometimes I wish…” My throat feels thick and I look up at the ceiling. “I guess I wish there was some part of her that cared enough about me to try.”

There’s a tender brush of fingertips against my chin. “Try what?”

“Try to change, maybe? Or be willing to challenge her beliefs about what it means to be a siren. It’s like she thinks me being something else, me changing my body to reflect the person I actually am, is a threat to her.”

“I wish I could change her for you.” I look at him, and Javier’s eyes are full of pain—pain and hurting on my behalf. “You deserve everything, Aleks. Being seen and known, family, opportunity, love. I am so sorry Alina has robbed you of them.”

My eyes burn. “Okay,” I manage to say, because I’m not ready to tell him how sometimes, when he’s with me, I feel all of those things.

He cradles my jaw in his hands, and pulls me in for a brief kiss. I try to suck on his soft bottom lip, but he pulls away. He must see my pout because he shakes his head, chuckling. “We do not have time for that now, boy. There is something I need to do. It will not take me long. Meet me at the practice pool in forty minutes, and when I get back, we train.”

“There’s no point, Javi. I don’t have a—”

“Trust me. I have you, sireno.” He pauses, rummaging in the fanny pack he’s already buckled around his waist. He pulls out a plastic-wrapped sucker of some kind and hands it to me. “It should keep this needy mouth of yours busy while I am gone.”

I look at him, incredulous, but he’s grinning down at me with an arched brow. “It is even made with real fruit,” he adds. “I would not want to hinder your performance diet.”

I try to summon a scowl, but my fingers tug at the wrapper and pop the sucker into my mouth. It's a mildly sweet mango flavor, and as my lips close around it, whatever tension is lingering in my body bleeds away.

Fucking Daddy always knowing exactly what I need.

He smiles down at me. “I will be back soon.”

I nod, and queue up my game. The familiar music fills the room, but before I start, I call out, “Daddy?”

The name still feels clumsy on my lips when we aren’t in the middle of a scene. It’s still terrifying, thinking about the kind of trust a relationship like this requires.

I still can’t figure out why he wants me. I still haven’t asked him why he left, all those years ago. Right now, this thing between us is new, fragile, and I don’t want to bring reality crashing in on us. Not yet. As he stops in the doorway, looking back at me over his wide shoulders, I wonder what he’d say if I asked him right now.

“Thank you,” I say instead, popping the sucker out of my mouth. “For everything.”

He smiles, like I’ve given him something precious, and blows me a kiss. Surprised, I snort out a laugh even as something warm and safe and right fills my chest.

I’m already in the water, fully transformed and with my vocal filter strapped into place when I hear Javier’s sandals crunching up to the edge of the pool. Only he’s not alone.

“Cora?”

My cousin lifts her hand in a wave. Her hair is pulled back into a sleek bun and her piercings glint in the sunlight. “Hey.”

I blink up at her, treading water with my webbed hands. “What are you doing here?”

She glances over at Javier, who has his hands in the pockets of his cargo shorts. He’s watching me with a quiet, careful expression on his face. “I took another look at the list of available duet partners from the IASA,” he says.