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“You’re okay,” he said softly.

“That’s debatable,” I retorted, resting my cold hand against my forehead. He crossed the room and sat on the edge of the bed, close enough I could feel his warmth without being touched.

He was so much…more.

“I’m sorry,” he said, and the words were unlike anything Kane had ever said to me. “For before…for the day in the rain. For the moments during the holidays when I was angry. All the moments I’ve ignored you. For thinking distance and silence were an escape.”

I turned my gaze on him, studying the familiar angles of his face. Nostalgia was a beast. One that waited for you on the darkest days when you had no more light to fill you up.

“You left me,” I said.

“I know…” he replied, moving closer. “I know now.”

“Look at you, all of these eccentric friends, living in the city of your dreams. You’re a different person.”

“Time arrives without warning, and you either go with the tide or fight against it.” Kane reached for my hands then and I allowed him this moment.

“What did they want from me tonight?” I asked. It was obvious that Daisy had asked me to attend this party for a reason. Kane glanced away. I noticed the slight fidgeting of his fingers.

My cellphone rang, shattering the silence. I turned to the device, ringing ludicrously in my bag.

“Hand me my phone, now.” The earlier vision came back to me.

Kane hurried over, fished it out and handed it to me. I flipped it open and answered with shaking fingers. “Anita?” I greeted, registering the panic bleeding through her voice.

Kane’s attention sharpened the instant he heard his mother’s voice through the line. The words came disjointed at first. Accident, fire, come home.

Those apparitions of my parents were the first time I knew the dead sought me out.

Another year, another death.

Devil’s Bay had greeted us with fog and salt-heavy air and the familiar weight of the town settled into my bones. It had been waiting for me.

My parents’ funeral passed in fragments, a swish of dark coats, condolences and unrecognizable faces. The earth I rested them in, should have swallowed me whole.

Afterward, when nightfall cascaded over the town I found Ash. My heartbreaking, wonderful Ash, at the edge of the cemetery, where the old stones leaned into one another and my parent’s glossy headstones blended into the history of the land.

We shared a silent look and went for a long walk.

There was a lake that lay far into the forest, black and glassy reflecting nothing but skewed images. It was the same lake where Ash’s father had been found.

I walked slowly, finding myself enjoying the dark forest and allowing everything to sink in.

Each footstep served to lock away the sorrow I couldn’t face.

The scent of rain and dirt lingered in the wind as I approached the mossy incline leading down to the embankment. I slid down. Ash had moved ahead to clear out a spot for us on the small mossy shore, a blanket and a weathered wicker basket were already waiting below a tree.

Kane hadn’t accompanied me back home, despite being there and holding me as I crumbled into tears. He didn’t owe me anything, but I guess after all the years had passed, I still held out hope that Kane would care about me.

I exhaled and stood quiet. I hadn’t said anything to Ash, yet here he was. He continued to gather fallen branches without speaking. When he was ready, everything was neatly piled in a cleared spot. Then he struck the flame and it caught eagerly to the kindling. Fire licked away at the night and cast beautiful gold and reds across his face.

Oh, the irony that was the lake.

I’d forgotten just how much it ached to be around him. I approached as he stood close to the rising fire. All around the forest, tall evergreens cocooned us, moonlight dappled softly against the lake, and I was where I wanted to be. He turned to face me, a familiar smile blossoming on his lips.

Life’s too short. Things happen at the drop of a hat. Lives are lost. Lives gained. Love is toyed with. I didn’t want to toy with anything anymore. I reached for him first. My fingers slid into his coat feeling the hardness of his muscles. He stilled then moved to stand behind me. His hands circled around my waist, tethering me to him.

“I’m happy to be home,” he said as he rested his head against mine. We stood there for a moment and absorbed the heat of the flames.