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I closed my eyes and listened to the crackling fire, felt the regular rhythm of his breath, deep and calming. My eyes grew heavy, but still there was a question I was longing to ask him.

“Levi?”

“Mmm?”

“Why haven’t you been at work?” He tensed, and I wondered if he’d evade the question. I’d been waiting for him to admit that he was going through problems of his own. But he hadn’t. He was still hiding from me. If he wasn’t going to talk to me about Josh, he could at least open up about this.

“I, uh, I’ve been grounded.”

“Why?” Levi had always been the best pilot, totally driven. He always told me that all he’d ever wanted to do was fly.

“I did something stupid.” He sighed, loosening his arms. He plucked at the edge of the comforter. “There was an exercise—a border patrol—there were some Russian planes. We were told not to engage—and I didn’t, but I wanted to have some fun. Sometimes when I’m up there I get this feeling like I’m invincible. Like I can do whatever the fuck I want with no consequences. There are never any for me . . .”

He didn’t say anymore. He didn’t have to. I knew he was thinking about Josh. “I guess sometimes I want to see how far I can go. Testing the limits of whatever it is that’s keeping me here . . .” He gestured to the air. “I’ve done a shitload of stupid things, and I’ve never been the one to pay for it.”

I wasn’t sure where he was going with this. Survivor’s guilt was a real thing in the military, but surely he didn’t mean . . . ?

“Anyway, I chased them. Did some silly maneuvering, showing off for the new guys, and when we got back to base, I was immediately and deservedly reprimanded. It wasn’t the first time I’d been reckless with a multimillion-dollar plane. So they put me on leave while I wait for a disciplinary meeting with my commanding officer.”

At some point during his confession, I’d covered his hand with mine, tracing the spaces in between his fingers until he covered my hand with his own, stilling it. I shivered again and he held me tighter. “Never knew you were so cold-blooded, Jones, come here.”

I smiled and melted back into him, closing my eyes. “When’s your meeting?”

He didn’t answer right away, then mumbled into my hair, “Not sure.”

He stroked my hair, holding one long strand up to the light. “Your hair isn’t actually red, you know.”

“Could’ve fooled me,” I replied sleepily. Like a cat, I loved having my hair played with, and now that my shaking had lessened, I was practically purring with the soft, drugging way Levi’s long fingers carded through the strands.

“No, it’s all the colors of a forest in the fall. Gold, copper, dark ochre,” he said as the strands cascaded through his fingers. “Never knew there were so many shades of red until I met you.”

My breath hitched and I lay there quiet, a thousand memories dancing through my head. He hummed softly and I recognized the tune.

Heaven, I’m in heaven . . .

As he continued to card his fingers through my hair, I smiled and fell into a deep, contented sleep.

Chapter 20

Levi

I’d had this dream before.

It was summer and it was hot, the air so heavy, I could barely breathe or think. Josh and his parents were gone for the afternoon and I was alone with Indy, both of us slouched on lounge chairs by the pool, sipping homemade lemonade. I’d given her a driving lesson, and I promised to teach her the lift from Dirty Dancing in the pool if she finally managed to parallel park.

I was on the verge of dozing off in the shade when Indy stood up, untied her white coverup, and let it slide to her feet. Suddenly, breathing was impossible. Instead of that striped one-piece bathing suit she’d been wearing in some version or another since I’d known her, she wore the smallest bikini known to mankind—yellow with ruffles along the triangle edges that barely covered her . . .

Shit. I did not want to think about Indy’s tits. As far as I was concerned, she shouldn’t have any, but there they were, barely contained in that yellow fabric, like two tempting, ripe peaches. She had a freckle on her left breast near her cleavage. Another small triangle of fabric between her legs barely covered her, and that too was held up by tiny strings that sat just below her hip bones. One tug on those and they’d be at her feet.

With a shy glance in my direction, she walked slowly over to the edge of the pool, trailing her big toe in the water. Now I was staring at her ass. A perfect teardrop. I usually averted my eyes from her body, but occasionally let my eyes trail up her long, shapely legs when we hung out, but that’s where I left it.

Not today though. I couldn’t take my eyes off her. My dick was throbbing in my swim trunks. I wanted to rip my eyes out for eyefucking her. Come on, man, that’s Indy, your best friend’s little sister.

I knew I shouldn’t touch her, but this was a dream, and so I moved up behind her, slid my hands over her the silky skin of her waist. She sighed, leaned into me as one of my hands climbed higher, cupping her tit, feathering my fingers over the tight tip. The other hand slid down to tug on one of those strings and flattened over her lower belly. She curled her arm around my neck as she arched into my hands and my lips on her neck. I whispered, “Is this what you want?”

“Yes, Levi. Oh god.”

My hand was full of supple, warm flesh. I squeezed because it felt so damn good and so did her round ass against my dick. I groaned and ground harder against her flannel-covered curves.