Page 20

Back inside, Frankie was ordering another round. I slid into my seat and he threw a heavy arm over me. “Okay, bella? Jasinski can be such a pain in the ass. All the more so now.”

I nodded, swallowing against the emotion in my throat. I didn’t think Frankie knew about Josh or that the anniversary of his death was almost upon us. “What do you mean ‘more so now’?”

“He didn’t tell you? He’s been suspended. Reckless behavior.”

“Suspended?”

“Yeah, he’s a mess.” Frankie popped a pickle in his mouth. “Wouldn’t be surprised if he left the Air Force altogether.”

“But all he’s ever wanted to do is fly,” I responded. I thought about how haunted he’d looked at the bar, how awkward he’d been at the dig site and then here tonight. Lost and sad. Usually he was so good at hiding it and I was the only one that could see it.

I didn’t want to feel sorry for him now. I needed to pretend like he hadn’t just rocketed in my life like an errant missile. One that I wanted, despite it all, to grab on to and hold tight.

***

When I got to the apartment, Sabrina was lounging on the couch, her face covered with a white clay mask, painting her toenails a vibrant shade of orange. “What are you doing back home so soon?” she asked. “Shouldn’t you be having hot sex with a gorgeous army man?”

I tossed my keys on the side table and peeled off my high-heeled boots, sighing with pleasure as I stretched my toes. “Didn’t go as planned.”

I flopped myself down on the couch next to her and she patted her knees. I obediently placed my feet in her lap. There was a run in my black stocking and my big toe was sticking out. “No wonder you didn’t get laid with toenails like these. Wanna talk about it?”

“Ugh, no . . . suffice it to say that we were interrupted.”

“Don’t tell me Il Re Leone made another appearance.” She shook her head and I sat up straighter. “I told him to stay far away from you.”

“What?”

“I saw him hanging around the dig site this afternoon and told him in no uncertain terms what I would do to his cajones if I caught him sniffin’ around you again.” She wound her fingers into a fist and twisted.

Despite my dark mood, I had to laugh. Sabrina was so off the mark it was pathetic. “Believe me, he’s not sniffing around. In his words, all he’s ever felt toward me was a sense of obligation.”

“What? No, I saw the way he was eyeballing you at the club. And we all know his reputation. Look at poor Chiara.”

“Sabrina, let me explain.” I’d only told her that Levi was my brother’s best friend, she didn’t know the whole extent of our relationship. “I spent the entirety of my teenage years in love with Levi. And he didn’t know it. No, strike that, he had to know because every summer I trailed after him and my brother. Until he met my cousin Ashleigh . . . and broke my heart for the first time.”

Reliving the memory was just what I needed to remind myself why I should be glad to let him go. I told her all about that day from the picnic to the meteorite and then the untimely appearance of Ashleigh.

“You’re saying your cousin knew how you felt about this boy and she still went after him?” Sabrina paused, brandishing the nail polish brush like a weapon. “What about girl code?”

“Girl code doesn’t matter when he was clearly crazy about her. Anyway, I went from being the third wheel with my brother and Levi to being one with him and Ashleigh.” I was disgusted with my past self, and the worst was yet to come. “Then—oh god, I’ve never told anyone this—I practically begged him to kiss me once. When he was with Ashleigh, he took me to homecoming and . . .”

“He took you to a school dance? I need to get some popcorn for this story, babe, it’s better than Days of Our Lives,” Sabrina teased but squeezed my hand. She could tell this was hard for me, but it was about time someone knew.

“Yeah, my date stood me up and Levi very gallantly offered to step in, and I . . . well, I blew it all by asking him to give me my first kiss.” I closed my eyes and let the moment play out for the millionth time in my brain.

“He came to get me in his cadet uniform and he was so handsome. He had a corsage and everything. This was finally my dream come true. He was finally going to see me as irresistible.” I laughed nervously. “All the other girls were jealous when I showed up with him. For someone as unpopular—no, invisible—as I was, it was a major coup. But I didn’t care at all about that. I was over the moon to be in Levi’s arms.”

That was until I overheard some girls at the punch bowl talking about how my brother must have put him up to taking me and that my original date, Derek Moorehouse, had only asked me out on a dare. I ran outside in tears, ran straight to Francine. Levi came running after me. He put a strong arm around me, and then a sob escaped me. “What’s wrong with me, Levi?” I asked before I could stop myself.

He held me at arm’s length and looked at me as if I’d lost my mind. “What are you talking about, Indy? There’s nothing wrong with you.”

“Then why . . . ?” I hesitated, almost blurting out then why did you choose her? Luckily, I stopped myself. “Why didn’t he come tonight?”

Levi sighed. “Because he’s sixteen and stupid. Who knows? He did you a favor, though. Don’t waste your time on assholes like that. Someday you’ll meet a guy who looks at you like you hung the stars, Diana. A guy who sees you for who you are.”

He held me to him for a long time. So long that I felt myself being lulled into a kind of trance, and before I could stop myself, I raised my head and stared into his serious blue eyes with their long lashes and whispered, “Levi, would you kiss me?”

He went completely still and I could feel him holding his breath. His head lowered slightly, just a millimeter, but it was enough to give me hope.