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She could feel the tension leaving her chest as she laughed. The sweater was so deliberately absurd that it made worrying about her appearance seem equally absurd. She wasn’t trying to look professional or attractive or put-together—she was just trying to look joyful, and the ridiculous sweater accomplished that goal perfectly.

“You know what?” she said, making a snap decision, “I’m buying it. This is exactly what I need right now.”

Imogen was still laughing, but Vanessa paid for the sweater and wore it out of the store, the jingle bells announcing her presence with every step. She felt better than she had in weeks, and it had helped to alleviate some of the unfamiliar feelings that she’d been struggling to identify—the sense of being disconnected from herself, the fear that pregnancy had erased her personality, the worry that she’d never feel confident or attractive again.

“I have to admit,” Imogen said as they paused to look in the window of the local art gallery, “that sweater is actually kind of genius. You look ridiculously happy.”

“I feel ridiculously happy,” Vanessa replied, and realized it was true. She felt like she could focus better on thinking about how much she loved her life, how many amazing things she and Jackson had to look forward to. She glanced over at Imogen, seeing her friend’s radiant smile and happy glow, and she couldn’t help but think that things had been simpler when she and Jackson had first been together, when they were just dating and newly in love. They had so much to be grateful for, but it also sometimes felt like… a lot. So many things to juggle and plan and think about, instead of just basking in the newness of a perfect relationship.

“You know,” Vanessa said, shrugging off the thought and linking her arm through Imogen’s as they walked, “you’ve had this amazing glow about you lately. Like you’re carrying around your own personal sunshine.”

Imogen’s cheeks flushed pink. “I’m just happy,” Imogen said, but her smile was so bright it was almost blinding. “The holidays always make me feel joyful, and business has been wonderful, and Katie’s doing so well in school… and I have Lincoln now, and he’s amazing. Things have never been better, honestly. This is the best Christmas yet.”

“Well, whatever it is, it looks good on you,” Vanessa said with a smile. “You deserve all the happiness in the world.”

She meant it too. Her best friend deserved the world, and she was beyond happy that Imogen had Lincoln now to fill out the spaces of her life that had been neglected before, that she had the kind of incredible love that she deserved. Vanessa only wished she could understand why she felt so jittery herself, when she had so much more love coming her way and so much to be happy about.

Her pregnancy had been smooth, and the baby would be there soon. She felt nervous and unsettled every time she thought too hard about it though, and she wondered if she should talk about it with Imogen. Her friend had a daughter; she would probably understand… but Vanessa felt guilty for being anything other than just on top of the world about it all.

She couldn’t really talk about it with Jackson, who hadn’t had to experience all the physical and hormonal changes she was going through. And it had been so long since Mabel had had her children that Vanessa was pretty sure her grandmother only remembered the good parts. They weren’t even feelings she felt comfortable acknowledging fully to herself most of the time.

But wearing the ridiculous Christmas sweater, walking through town with a good friend, feeling genuinely happy for the first time in weeks, Vanessa felt a little of it all lift off of her shoulders just by allowing herself to be silly. The looks from strangers didn’t make her feel like coming out of her skin for once, she just brushed them off as being on account of the ridiculous piece of clothing.

“Thank you for this,” she said to Imogen as they paused outside Artisan Chocolates. “I needed today more than I realized.”

“It was worth it just to see you buy that sweater” Imogen replied with a grin. “You’ve single-handedly raised the bar for holiday fashion in Fir Tree Grove. I don’t think anyone’s going to be able to compete with sequined snowmen and actual jingle bells.”

They hugged goodbye, Vanessa’s sweater jingling merrily, and Vanessa smiled to herself. Maybe this was the key to getting through this last stretch of pregnancy. She still felt scared and excited and uncertain about what kind of mother she’d be, but she also felt more like herself than she had in weeks.

And that, she thought as her jingle bells announced her presence to the entire neighborhood, was good enough for her at the moment.

CHAPTER EIGHT

The gazebo that George Lowery had built near the office of Merry Pines Christmas Tree Farm glowed with warm white lights strung along its octagonal frame, creating an intimate, cozy spot for him and Mabel to have a romantic dinner date after work. He’d put a lot of effort into creating it, and it had a special meaning for Mabel in particular. After all, it was the first place George had kissed her, where they’d first admitted to each other that there was more to their relationship than just friendship. She knew she’d never forget that moment as long as she lived.

The air was fresh and clear and smelled of pine, with the heater installed in the gazebo keeping them warm enough that they could enjoy their dinner without having to be bundled up. She looked around the gazebo, taking it all in with a smile. She loved how handy George was, how he could fix or build just about anything. And this was definitely her favorite creation of his.

She was sitting across from him at the small table he’d set up inside the gazebo, a plaid tablecloth covering the surface between them and candles flickering in glass votives that protected the flames from the December evening breeze. It was magical and romantic, and what was more, George had planned it all. She never would have thought that would be possible two years ago, when the most affectionate thing they did for each other was the occasional casserole or check-in with one another when they weren’t pranking each other.

Their prank war had been legendary in Fir Tree Grove. It had been going on for longer than Mabel could remember, and now she saw it for what everyone else in town had known it was—a very elaborate way of flirting without ever admitting how they felt to each other. They’d pulled off increasingly elaborate pranks over the years, including the garland of elves she’d hung on a Christmas tree he’d had reserved for Cindy, the owner of the Holly and Ivy Market. That had been the prank that had resulted in her wrist being sprained and brought Vanessa to Fir Tree Grove to help her, so all in all, she thought, it had been one of her most successful pranks.

Now they were sharing romantic holiday dinners under the stars. She glanced around the gazebo again, thinking she would never get tired of taking it all in, all of the carefully crafted details that had taken hours of patient work. George had installed built-in benches along two sides, carved decorative elements into the support posts, and even included hooks for hanging lanterns or plants depending on the season. This time of year, of course, it was decorated with lights and garlands, and a wreath hanging from the top at the very front.

George smiled at her as he saw her appreciating his work, and Mabel thought that even that had softened since they’d gotten together. There was a whole other side of him that she’d never known about, and she loved that she was getting to know it more and more with every passing year they spent together.

“I’ve missed you,” he said gruffly, reaching for the glass that he’d poured a craft beer from Maplewood Tavern into. “This time of year it gets so busy, we don’t get to see each other as often as I’d like to.”

Mabel felt her cheeks warm, a reaction that still surprised her after two years of dating. She’d thought herself long past the age of blushing over romantic gestures, but George had a way of saying exactly the right thing to make her feel like a girl with her first serious boyfriend rather than a seventy-one-year-old grandmother who’d been managing her own life for decades.

“I’ve missed you too,” she said, reaching for a piece of bread from the basket between them. George had picked up one of her favorite meals from Maplewood—a roast chicken leg basted in spices and maple syrup with a side of goat cheese whipped potatoes and baked squash, and an elk burger with raspberry jam, caramelized onion, arugula, and goat cheese for him. “The holiday season is fun, but it does take up a lot of time. I’m glad we got to do this tonight.”

The view was better than anything else she could have asked for—a clear sky above dotted with stars, the pines and firs stretching out in the distance, moonlight and Christmas lights giving them something to see by along with the candles. It was utterly perfect, and she was loving every moment of it.

“So,” Mabel said, taking a sip of her wine, “have you figured out what I’m getting you for Christmas yet? You didn’t give me a list, so I’ve just had to go with my gut.” She winked at him, and George rubbed a hand over his beard.

“Well, my guess would be something for the shop. You like a good gag gift, so I’m sure one of those will be in my stocking, but you also like making sure I’m taken care of. So you’ll get me something I need, and you know how I am about having the right tools for every job.”

Mabel smiled. “Well, you might be onto something. I’m not going to tell you though, of course,” she added, and George chuckled.