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Tobias’s free hand reaches out to cup my cheek. “I’m sorry, Emerson. I shouldn’t have ... years of it all had me lost in the darkness of what I was supposed to do. The Ringmaster ... he’s dangerous.”
“So are you, I suspect.”
His lips quirk, “Yes. But not to you. Not to Kenan.”
“Why not?”
Tobias turns fully to me now. “Because you’ve done something I didn’t think was possible anymore.”
“What’s that?”
His voice softens, less of the mystic and more of the human surfacing. “You reminded me what it’s like to be alive again. To believe in love again.”
The confession is like a fragile piece of glass. I’ve never heard him speak without a layer of performance towards me. This is the voice he keeps reserved for Kenan, and that makes my chest tighten.
“I know I talk a big game, but I don’t know what I’m doing here,” I admit. “I came looking for answers about my sister, and then I found you. And Kenan. All of this.” I gesture vaguely at The Carnival around us.
“Do you regret it?”
“I should.” I don’t hide the fact that it would have been the smart thing to feel. I should hate them. I should hate this place. The place that took my sister, the place that threatens to take my soul. But … I can’t.
“Yeah, you should. You should run as far away from me as you can.”
“And yet, you’re sitting here, holding my hand.”
“I never claimed to be selfless.” His thumb traces circles. “Quite the opposite, actually.”
I lean closer, drawn by that same, damn magnetic pull I can’t explain. “What do you want from me, Tobias?”
“Everything,” he whispers, “and that terrifies me.”
I close the distance between us, pressing my mouth to his. He freezes for a heartbeat before responding with a hunger that steals my breath. His hand slides to the back of my neck, fingers tangling in my hair.
This kiss is different from what we shared when it was the three of us, this one is slow — vulnerable — a perfect apology and showcase of the desire between us.
“You –” he seems confused. “Last night, I know what you said you wanted ... but I didn’t know that it actually included me alone.”
“It did,” I smile, pulling him closer to me, “and I want more of you.”
This time when our lips meet, the gentleness is gone. Tobias pulls me onto his lap, his hands gripping my waist as I straddle him. I feel the hard edge of the carousel dig into my knees, but the discomfort is not what I focus on, instead it’s the heat that builds between us every time we are together. My fingers trace his jaw, the curve of his neck, and the solid plane of his chest.
“Emerson,” he groans against my mouth, the sound of my name going straight between my thighs.
I pull back just enough to look into his eyes. A thought crossed my mind. Does he even want me if Kenan isn’t here? Was it ever about me? Unable to ask that question fully, I simply say, “Tell me to stop, and I will.”
“I won’t,” he admits, pressing his forehead to mine.
We might have stayed here forever, lost in each other, if not for the sound of approaching footsteps. Tobias tenses beneath me, his hands stilling on my hips.
“I didn’t even get an invitation?” Kenan says, his voice laced with amusement. “How very rude.”
I scramble off Tobia’s lap, heat flooding my cheeks. Kenan stands a few yards away, arms crossed over his chest.
“We were —”
“I have eyes, Kitten,” Kenan says. “No explanation needed, he’s pretty sexy when he wants to be.”
Tobias rises to his feet. “Everything okay?”
