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I feel Tobias shift closer, the heat of him radiating against my back. “Or perhaps,” his hand slides up my spine, “you should simply surrender into what you truly want.”

My heart pounds against my ribs like it wants to escape. I feel trapped, cornered, but also powerful, desired, and I’m terrified by just how much I want them both. Where did that thought come from?

“This is insane,” I whisper to myself.

“Sanity is overrated,” Kenan says with a half-smile. “Especially here.”

“I need to go,” I say, finally finding the strength to step back, breaking the energy between us. “I need to get ready for tonight.”

“Of course,” Tobias gives a slight theatrical bow. “Your costume will be delivered soon.”

“I’ll come fetch you when it’s time,” Kenan adds, his gaze lingering.

They leave me there, surrounded by the hanging silks, and I take the first full breath I’ve had all day. I untangle myself from the silks and drop to the ground, my legs shaky beneath me. I need to retreat, to gather myself before tonight. Focus. I have to focus on why I came here.

As I make my way back through the twisting paths of The Carnival grounds, I can’t shake the feeling that I’m walking deeper into a trap — one baited with seduction, magic, and the promise of belonging. The worst part is, despite everything, I think I might want to know what happens if I’m caught.

Chapter 14

The Carnival air is different tonight, not the same I felt when I first arrived yesterday. It’s funny to think how little time has passed and yet how different everything has become. I have four days to figure out what happened to my sister, I haven’t given up hope, and I refuse to give up on her.

I stare at myself, barely recognizing the woman looking back at me. My hair falls long and dark down my back, parted cleanly in the middle. Two thin braids on each side frame my face, while two thicker braids start near my temples and run along the sides of my head, the rest left loose and slightly tousled, catching the faint blue undertones beneath the dim lights of the dressing tent. It makes my face look sharper somehow – darker, perhaps? My eyes, normally a simple hazel, now smolder beneath dramatic makeup. The outfit I had thrown at me by ... someone ... is nothing more than a lace bodysuit that barely leaves anything to the imagination. My legs have ripped black tights that showcase gold shoes. I didn’t ask how they knew my sizes, because truly that’s the least of my worries right now.

“Not bad,” comes a voice from behind me. “You almost look like you belong here.”

Layla stands in the entrance of the tent. She’s wearing a leather bralette and a skirt that is just an inch away from revealing everything, and her teal and purple hair is gathered in a messy bun at the top of her head.

“I don’t belong here,” I say, tugging at the material of my suit, thankful that at least it covers more than hers. “I’m just trying to survive.”

Layla approaches, adjusting one of the clasps at my shoulder.

“Honey, that’s what we’re all doing,” her dark eyes meet mine in the mirror. “Some just ... have a bit more style while we do,” she winks at me through thick, unnaturally long lashes.

“Is that why you’re being nice to me? Testing my survival instincts?” I ask, watching her fingers work deftly.

She smiles, but it doesn’t quite reach her eyes. “Let’s just say I remember what it’s like to be new,” she steps back, looking me over. “Besides, not everyone here wants to eat you alive ... just most of them.”

I turn to face her. “What’s your story?”

“Same tale everyone here has — choices and fate. I came into it just excited to see the show, didn’t realize the free tickets and the mark of the flame on my wrist sent me down the same path as you,” she says, adjusting her top. “But that’s a whole story for a different day.” She puts her hand on my shoulder. “You only have four days to adjust to things here before you’re one of us. Some of those here will want you to give up — forget the bargain you made and go to your death. Some might even try to sabotage, and many tonight will wish for you to fall. Don’t give them the satisfaction.”

“Why would they —”

“Because you have Tobias’s and Kenan’s attention and guidance on your wrist,” she says matter-of-factly. “Zara will be looking for me soon. I’ll catch you after the show.”

She leaves just as quickly as she appeared to go find whoever Zara is. My stomach is in knots at the reminder that in less than an hour, I’ll be performing in the center of the Big Top.

* * *

“Five minutes till the show starts, Kitten,” Kenan says, appearing beside me with his predatory prowl. “How are you feeling?” His eyes are lined with kohl tonight, making the green more vivid, and his half-skull mask sits around his neck. His dark hair is tied haphazardly into a knot on the top of his head, like he didn’t have enough time to finish, and from the little that I know him – I doubt he cared.

“Terrified,” I admit, looking back into the mirror in front of me. Yes, I’ve been staring at the mirror for the last 30 minutes.

“I’ll be with you the whole time,” Kenan says, his voice dropping. “Right in the wings.”

I nod, trying to swallow past the knot in my throat. I’m not sure if that’s what I want, but surprisingly it does reassure me a little. “Let’s get this over with.” Four days. Four days to find the truth about Evelyn. I just need to survive tonight.

I follow Kenan through the maze of backstage corridors, the sound of the crowd growing louder with each step. We pause at the edge of the curtain and I peek through the gap.