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“In that case,” Mr. Ambrose says, standing from the bed and walking toward Luca, “I’ll come see you when I’m done in here.” He pushes Luca back, then closes the door. He pulls my dresser all the way in front of it, making it so Luca can’t come back in.

Luca bangs on it from the other side, begging Mr. Ambrose to open the door and punish him instead. But he hasn’t even been bad. Neither of us have.

Mr. Ambrose turns back to me. I feel sick. I just want to go to bed. I want Mr. Ambrose to leave and I want to be with Luca. I don’t want him to be sad. I don’t want him to be punished.

I don’t want to play this game anymore.

The tremors begin again, shaking the space around me violently until everything shifts. The four walls of my bedroom transform into the four walls of Rhenn’s bathroom. I’m not a little girl anymore. I’m home.

The bathroom door creaks open. Rhenn stands on the other side. He makes his way to me, running his fingers over my cheek. I lean into his touch, needing him now more than I ever have. This has been a horrible night, and my head is full of partial memories.

Rhenn motions to the bath at my side. It’s already full, steam rising from the surface. “Get in,” he tells me, pulling my sweater down my arms.

I step into the tub, holding his hand while I lower myself in the water. Rhenn kneels beside me and I close my eyes, letting him run a warm cloth down my forearm.

There’s a soft patter of rain on the roof. I’ve always loved the rain.

“What’s this?” Rhenn asks. I look up, following his stare to my wrists. Deep gashes are embedded into my skin. It stains the bathwater, marking it burgundy. My fingers tighten, gripping a black knife in my hand, its blade curved and still wet with blood.

Did I… Did I do this…?

“Trying to take all the fun away from me?” When I meet his eyes, I see the line of crimson drawing down his chin, and a smile so cruel it makes my bones shake. Rhenn brings his hands to my shoulders, pressing me hard beneath the liquid’s surface. I struggle, fighting to free myself. He only grips me harder. “I won’t hold you down for long, Vix. Just until the bubbles stop.” It’s said in a voice that’s not quite his.

I’m choking, trying so hard not to breathe the water in, but it fills my lungs.

I feel him shoving me down. I also feel him holding me, wrapping me in his arms.

“You need to come back to me, damnit. I won’t ask again.” The sound is distant, farther off. There’s desperation in the way he says it, rippling all the way down to my core. It doesn’t match the man holding me down.

And for a moment, I see him. Not in the bathroom, in the open. His eyes search mine.

Panic. Anguish. Regret. Longing. I see it all when I stare up at him.

There’s an ache in my chest. A fear so deep inside me that this will be the last time I ever see him.

My hand reaches out for him, burning to feel him just one more time.

But I am still under the water.

Darkness falls around me, blackening my vision. Voices invade my ears, letting me know it’s time to go.

I follow them through the unlit shadows. They lull me deep into the back of my mind, away from my body and the watery grave. Rhenn’s voice echoes through me, telling me not to go with them. He doesn’t know they are the only thing that can save me.

It’s so cold here without the light.

Vast and empty.

There is nothing.

So, I succumb to the darkness. It’s where I’ve always belonged.

I extend my fingers to the shadows, watching them curl around me, welcoming me in like an old friend. They reach inside of me, snuffing out every light. The only thing left is my soul itself—the one remaining part of me that’s still me. It isn’t mine to have anymore. It belongs to them.

My feet pull me forward. Only moments stand between what I was and what I will forever be.

I feel it beneath my skin, taste it on the edge of my lips.

I’ve always wondered what it would be like to die. Would it hurt? Do all the bad things go with you? Or are you finally free…?