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My heart stills as he reaches around me, grabbing the elastic from my hair and pulling it free. A curtain of brown strands falls around my face. I’m hyperaware of every point of contact between us—the heat of his chest against my own, the gentle press of his fingers on my skin, the soft exhalation of his breath. A cascade of sensations pools deep in my stomach, and there’s a dull ache growing between my thighs.

I’m crazy for it. I know I am.

He leans into me, finding the crook of my neck, and my eyes fall closed, ready for his teeth. A quick sting and it will be over. That’s what this is, right? A game rigged entirely in his favor. And I lost.

Instead, his lips press lightly against the skin.

I inhale at his touch, so much softer than I was ready for.

“I can’t control myself around you.” Rhenn’s chest heaves as he breathes against me, so close it brushes over mine. “Do you know how fucking frustrating that is?”

My body is ablaze because I can feel him, how hard he is through his jeans. It sends a wave of need straight to my core, remembering the way he felt when he moved inside me. I didn’t think it could actually ever be like that.

For me, physically being with someone in that way has only ever felt like relinquishing a part of myself involuntarily. Something stolen rather than shared. It was never…good.

Which is how I know everything about that night with Rhenn was nothing more than the effect of too much faerie wine. The alcohol numbed the pain, because I could never do what we did and not feel the nightmares clawing at me. I would have never enjoyed it.

I only wish my body would get on the same page. It wants nothing more than to bend to him. To feel and to be lost in him.

“It was a mistake to fuck you,” he hums near my ear.

Even though I know it’s true, a sharp stab ripples through me at his words. My chest tightens, ice and acid rain sweeping over me. And not for the first time, I want to disappear. To crawl in a hole and never come out. The unwanted girl has been disregarded once again, used up and abandoned.

I am, after all, a stray.

Rhenn’s hand cups my jaw, and he runs his nose alongside mine. “The thing is, Vix, I don’t think I’ve learned my lesson.”

My eyes flick up, seeing the most intense shades of gray, like a storm cloud moments before it rains. Each smoky quartz falls to my lips, and his hands find my jeans, popping the button with ease.

“Rhenn,” I gasp, attempting to move back even though the tree won’t allow it.

He lowers to his knees, glancing up at me through his thick lashes, and begins to guide the denim over my hips, pausing as he asks, “You want me to stop?”

Pulling my bottom lip between my teeth, I look around. There’s cover everywhere, but I know we aren’t the only ones out here. A small part of me finds excitement in that. It’s daring and wrong.

Sucking in a breath, I slowly shake my head.

It’s not until the pants are off and his roaming touch rises back up my legs, fingers sliding under the straps of black lace barely covering anything, that I realize how very much I want him, and how very much I don’t want to want that. But his lips press against me, just a hair above the thin fabric, and his thumb finds its way beneath it. A moan escapes me, and I arch my back. “We shouldn’t… It’s a bad idea.”

He isn’t touching me there yet, but he’s so close, and his breath warms my skin so sinfully.

“It’s a terrible idea,” he counters, gripping my ass and rising to his feet. “You may not like me, pretty Vixen, and I may feel absolutely nothing toward you, but there’s no denying how matched we are together. How terribly wrong and twistedly in sync.”

Why do his spiteful words sound so sweet? Like ash dipped in honey. So close to something I’ve always craved to hear, and just far enough off to remind me how utterly illogical this all is.

“There’s not a piece of you I don’t want.” His mouth travels to mine, hovering close enough to sense without actually touching.

So much of this hurts because I know it isn’t real, and I hate myself for wishing it was. Rhenn told me he wants me broken, and this is his way of doing it. Sweet-coated words wrapped in bullshit lies.

“Help me forget too, Vixen. Just for today.” The request sounds pained, like it’s more than just me he wants taken away. Rhenn’s fingers grip desperately through my hair, holding me against him in a way that makes my chest ache.

But it isn’t real…

“Last time you almost killed me,” I remind him, struggling to keep my voice even, because something’s short-circuiting inside me.

He lets out a small huff, smiling. “Yeah? Well, practice makes perfect.” His fingers glide along the center of my stomach, toying with the waistband of my panties again.

I think back to the day with the chameleon, the horrible things he said, and to the cove, when he pushed me into the freezing water. My hands clench at my sides, remembering the time he shoved me against his house after throwing away my necklace. And finally, to the last time we did this, how he saw my scars and didn’t run. I woke up in his arms, knowing he held me close in the night. He kept the nightmares away. I was safe…