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“Do you think less of me?”
“Why would I think less of you? You were in an impossible situation and parts of our government are obviously corrupt as fuck.”
“Yeah.” She sighs, staring off at nothing. “So Luna Gallagher isn’t a real person.”
“Of course she is! You’re you. Your name, whether it’s Shawna or Luna, doesn’t change who you are as a woman. Or who you are to me.”
She lifts her head and her gaze pierces mine. Like she can’t quite believe what I’m saying.
“What? Did you really think that story would change anything between us?” I lean down and brush my lips across hers, watching as her eyes flutter closed. “Honey, there’s nothing you could tell me that would do that.”
“Promise?”
“I promise.”
“Thank you. Hearing you say that means so much.” She leans over and rests her head on my shoulder and lets out a huge breath of relief. As if she’s been worried about this.
“Have you been worried about this? Like, legitimately afraid to tell me that story?”
“Not afraid but definitely concerned. I worry about a lot of things. Sometimes I wish I could turn myself off,” she admits softly.
“You can. When you’re with me, you should absolutely turn off. Let me do the heavy lifting when we’re together.”
“I’m not used to letting anyone help.”
“What about your parents? Are they still in your life?”
She shakes her head ruefully. “We had a falling out when I got arrested. They were embarrassed, their daughter was a criminal, shit like that. And unfortunately, I wasn’t allowed to discuss what I knew, what was in those documents. I only got my new identity by leaving everyone and everything in my past behind. Including my parents. I got to say goodbye, but that was about it.”
“That would be a lot for anyone. And you were, what? Twenty-five?”
“Twenty-seven.”
“How long have you been in witness protection?”
“Nearly six years. It took a while for everything to go down. In the meantime, I had to file bankruptcy because my legal fees wiped me out. I lost my job, my parents wanted nothing to do with me, and I never had a lot of friends in the first place. That’s why I’m so happy here. Daniil and Courtney saved me in ways I can’t even explain. And now I’m afraid that my past may screw up everything I’ve worked so hard to rebuild.”
“Nothing is going to happen to you,” I say firmly. “Especially not when you’re with me.”
“I know, but you can’t stop the past from coming back to haunt me.”
“Why would it? You think Rifkin knows who you are?”
“He probably knows about Shawna but not necessarily where I wound up or my new identity. But there were thousands of names on that list. And they buried it so fast no one had time to get the details. The only good thing that came out of it is that the whole thing was shut down. The website and the whole organization. There was no way they could get back in business once that breach happened. They just wanted it to go away so all the powerful people on that list could deny everything.”
“Assholes.”
“But now you understand why I get nervous when weird things happen, like my accounts getting hacked and packages arriving.”
“Yeah, I can see that, but you know shit happens, right? You can’t get worked up over every little thing. My credit card got hacked last year. It sucked. I had to cancel everything, wait for a new card, change all my passwords…and I’m not in witness protection. Bad things happen to lots of people.”
“I know. But when they happen to me, I can’t help but start overthinking everything. It’s hard not to. Mostly because I have so much to lose now.”
“Eventually, you’ll get past that. And I’m always here for you, honey. If you’re feeling nervous, scared, whatever it is—call me. I’m usually no more than twenty minutes away. If I’m traveling, call Allora or Grim. No one is going to think less of you because your past trauma occasionally haunts you.”
“I’ve spent my entire adult life not being able to rely on anyone but myself. It’s hard to change gears like that.”
“If you’re going to be with me, you’ll have to get used to relying on someone because that’s how I roll. Also, because I’m crazy about you.”
