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Rage

Page 55

by Kat Mizera

His eyes meet mine for a second and he nods. “Sure. I spent a lot of time rocking Micah when he was this little.”

I gently pass the baby to him and the sight of her tiny body pressed against his much larger one does things to me. It’s like he’s been doing this all his life. Despite all the things we discussed about making a baby together—I haven’t yet taken the time to imagine what that would actually look like.

Now it’s staring me in the face and its…beautiful. He’s huge but there’s nothing awkward or uncomfortable about the way he holds Celeste. And she seems as fascinated with him as she was with the lights of my monitors, one tiny fist waving beneath his chin.

“You already looking to learn how to fight?” he asks her playfully, bouncing her slightly. The baby gurgles and we sit there for a while, him talking in a low, gentle voice and me just…watching. Taking it all in. This could be my life. Our life.

And for the first time, I don’t just want it—I need it. It’s a physical yearning so strong, I feel it in my bones. Jesus. I can’t even describe what I’m feeling right now, and it’s intense enough to make me vulnerable.

So, I turn back to my computers.

Because that’s safer.

“You, uh, want to take her for a walk?” I ask, without looking at him.

“Sure.” He hesitates for a beat. “I’ll be back in a few.”

I don’t dare turn around, focusing instead on the monitors in front of me.

I’m completely disoriented and I don’t know why exactly. Well, I know I’ve had a crush on Rage almost since the first time I laid eyes on him. I also know how good he is in bed. How kind and gentle he is. That he likes me too.

But what I’m suddenly feeling is scary. No, it’s terrifying. This has the potential to become something real. Something permanent. Hell, I could already be pregnant. Probably not, but it’s possible. And that would change everything.

Except…it’s too soon.

We still barely know each other.

I still haven’t told him a lot about the past. He says he doesn’t care but they’re important details.

Who I used to be. The things I did. The potential danger I’m in. Daniil protects me in the most general sense but nothing is guaranteed. The people I threatened to expose are dangerous. Powerful. In many ways, more powerful than Daniil. If they ever find me… my mind goes back to the strange knocking on my door. My hacked credit card and bank account—I’m still dealing with all that. I found where the money went but the people responsible are buried so deep even I can’t find them yet.

That’s what I should be thinking about right now, not Rage.

Not babymaking.

Certainly not falling in love.

Impulsively, I get up and walk over to Daniil’s office. He’s just gotten back from his preschool run and he smiles at me. “Hey. What’s up?”

“Can we talk?”

“Sure.”

I close the door and sit down.

“What’s on your mind?”

“A bunch of shit,” I admit.

“Maybe pick one?” he suggests, sinking down in the chair next to mine instead of the one behind his desk.

“Rage and I are…” My voice trails because I’m not sure how to explain it.

“Dating. I know.”

“Yes, but we’re also…” Why is it so hard to say what’s on my mind?

Daniil just waits, though, his head slightly cocked.