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They close around the handle.

I pull the dagger between us and press the point to her chest, directly over her heart. Evelyn stills. Her eyes drop to the blade, then rise to my face. She looks surprised, as if she believed I would always be the girl who obeys. The girl who lets other people decide what happens to her body.

“After everything I’ve done for you?” she says, her voice trembling with disbelief.

She searches my face for mercy. I meet her hopeful gaze and give her none.

My lungs ache, tired of trying to help me. My skin is sticky with sweat and blood and soot. The church is collapsing into fire around us, stained glass popping and shattering as heat destroys it piece by piece.

I think of my father’s belt, my mother’s hand. I think of how easy it is for people to call cruelty love.

The certainty drains from Evelyn’s face as her brows furrow, leaving behind a quiet plea.

I keep my voice steady.

“It’s not so bad if you close your eyes.”

She takes one last good look at me, and then her eyes shut, tears falling down her dirty cheeks.

I don’t let myself hesitate. I drive the dagger up into her chest, feeling it catch in the bone. This is what life has demanded of me, and I won’t run from it anymore. I’ll protect myself.

Evelyn’s body jerks, then collapses on top of me, her mouth hanging open. Her grip loosens. I shove her weight aside, and she slumps onto the floor, skin glowing in the firelight. A beautiful heap of flesh.

I push myself up, chest heaving. I can’t feel anything except the ragged pull of breath moving in and out of me. The church crackles around us like it’s laughing.

The truth sinks into my body with a strange, sober weight. I’m in control.

I look back at Evelyn, lying motionless. She has no power over me.

No one does.

CHAPTER 49

EDWIN

Ireach her and drop to my knees in the ash-dusted aisle. My hands find her face and turn it towards me. My eyes feel wild in their sockets. Terrified. Full of relief so fierce it must look like anger.

“Zaiya,” I say again, making sure she’s real. “Let’s go.”

I grab her hand. She yanks it away as if it hurts.

“You kept me in the dark,” she says with absolutely no urgency.

“Can we talk about it after we get the fuck out of here?”

She blinks through the haze, tears clinging to her lashes despite her red, irritated eyes.

I was sure I lost her.

There was so much blood on the floor, it didn’t seem possible for her to survive whatever caused it. I was certain I’d arrived too late, and the world had taken the only thing worth staying for.

“You never thought I was strong,” she says. “You kept telling me that so I would believe you.”

“I’m sorry!” I glance behind me at the fire spreading. “I thought I was protecting you by not saying anything. But I was wrong. You have always been strong, Zaiya. You’re fucking standing here, fighting for your life and winning. That’s strength.”

She stands there, naked and covered with soot, staring at me with a million thoughts running through her head. I drag my good hand through my hair in frustration. If this is how it ends, at least it’s with her.

I sit on the nearest pew.