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I clamp my hand over my mouth and squeeze my eyes shut until he lets up. Then he steps back to let me breathe.

With all the times he’s seen me naked, I’ve never seen more than his cock. I watch closely as he removes his shirt and pulls down his pants. My gaze drags over his body, appreciating every taut muscle. The amount of tattoos is a surprise, and only then do I realize his skin is new territory to me. They cover his chest and shoulders, feeling like symbols I can’t read yet, a story I want to learn by touch. It’s not just any man standing there. It’s him.

Then I notice the pale, angry lines tracing his arms and legs. For all the ways he’s uncovered me, so much of him is still hidden.

He catches me staring.

Another hard smack lands where it hurts most, and I grit my teeth, riding the pain because it feels deserved.

His underwear drops and his massive shaft springs free. My lips part as my breath hitches in my throat.

I remember its taste, how it took away my ability to breathe. And I’ve been craving it inside me ever since.

I know pain. I was raised on it. But this is different. This is something that could tear me apart.

And I want to feel it.

For having dirty thoughts. For defiling the purity that was beaten into me for years.

Then he reaches for his belt.

Everything in me seizes.

My body remembers every time one was used against me. My legs close. My eyes can’t lift to his.

Edwin doubles the strap, and I retreat instinctively, sliding back as far as the bed allows.

He pauses.

“Tell me what you’re thinking,” he says softly.

I can’t stop staring at it in his hand.

“My father…”

The words scrape out of me, but I don’t want to tell him. I don’t want to ruin this.

Edwin’s eyes darken with murderous anger. “He hit you?”

I take a breath and nod. He wouldn’t have found that in his research. Not even Asher knew.

Edwin comes back to me slowly, easing me down before climbing onto the bed and straddling my legs, trapping me beneath him so I can’t escape him or myself.

“Listen to me, angel. No one is going to hurt you. Not like that.” He brushes my hair from my face. “But I am going to push you.”

My fingers dig into the sheet at my sides. I want to believe him. I want to trust him. But that isn’t easy when he slips the belt behind my neck and pushes the end through the buckle.

Then he pulls it.

The leather rests against my throat, tight enough to press into my skin. I can still breathe, though the thought of him taking that away sends a tremor through me that feels more like heat than fear.

Edwin holds my gaze, silently telling me to trust him.

Tension in my body loosens, and I melt into the mattress.

He slides the straps of my nightgown off my shoulders. Cool air kisses skin that was never meant to be displayed. My breasts spill free, nipples already tight, and my breath stutters when his mouth finds them.

His warm tongue flicks across them, sending a new sensation straight down to my core. He sucks my nipple like his mouth has laid claim, the other breast never lonely when his hand is there to squeeze. My back arches up to him, giving him more of what he wants.