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“I hyperfixated a little, that’s all. I wasn’t gonna do anything, I just wanted to know what you do when you’re not with me. Your life is secretive, and even Cashmere won’t tell me anything. I guess I just wondered what kind of job you have that has you out at three in the morning.”

“You’re worried about what I do.”

“Not worried, but…” I shrug. “I knew you wouldn’t tell me if I asked. You don’t have any obligation to share your private life with me, but curiosity got the best of me. Sorry.”

“It’s dangerous sometimes, Blush. You could’ve been hurt.”

“I can take care of myself. I’ve always had to.”

His gaze softens and he reaches out to brush his thumb across my cheek. “I know you’re a tough one. Still, you shouldn’t be caught up in my work. I don’t talk about it with you because it keeps you safe. If you were ever asked, you’d be able to deny knowledge.”

“So it’s illegal?” I grip the hem of his shirt. “Please, tell me you’re not some kind of predator. Are you a serial killer? Even if you are, just don’t let it be kids or sex workers. I couldn’t handle that.”

“Whoa. Calm down. I’m not a predator. I don’t hunt kids or sex workers or women or anything like that.”

I nod as I try to calm my emotions. I can tell he’s being honest. At least, I think I can. “Okay.”

“Do you really want to know?”

“You don’t think I’d rat you out, do you? I wouldn’t. You’re my…” My words trail off as I realize I don’t have a word for what we are. More than hookups now, but less than a relationship. “Situationship?”

Whisper chuckles. “Yeah.”

“I wouldn’t. Cashmere is my friend, kind of, and I’m not like that.”

“I wasn’t worried you’d rat me out. It’s more that once you know, you’re complicit. I’d rather you not be. Then when you’re tired of me and this thing with us ends, your conscience is clear.”

“What if… I mean, it’s unlikely, but what if things don’t end? What if we want to get to know each other beyond sex?”

His brow creases and my heart sinks. Oh. Right. There’s no way he’s into me that way.

“Sorry. You’re right. Of course it’s gonna end. I’ll just go home now.”

“Blush…”

“No, it’s okay. I’m just talking shit anyway. Sorry again. I won’t do it anymore.”

I fidget with my car door and finally pull it open, muttering “Sorry” again as I get in. Whisper lets me drive off without another word, and the farther I get the sicker I feel. I ruined a good thing with him because I can’t mind my own damn business.

Pretty standard for me. Self-sabotage and blowing up anything good in my life.

Bye, Whisper. It was fun while it lasted.

I snort a line of blow while I wait for my stage call. It’s been two days since the night I saw Whisper. I haven’t called or texted and neither has he. Why would he? I’m a freak.

I kind of hoped he’d call yesterday to make plans for tonight since I initially had the night off, but he didn’t, so I picked up a shift instead of sitting at home and regretting all my life decisions. Besides, I could always use the extra money.

I indulge in another line to smooth reality a little bit more. I need to be able to lose my inhibitions and put on a show tonight, and the only way to do that is to block out my real life.

Ivy pops backstage in a panic, grabbing his robe. “Shit’s going down out there.”

“What do you mean?” I get to my feet and hurry out of the dressing room to peek out front.

Gus and Riley, the two bouncers working tonight, are manhandling a customer. I’ve seen the guy before and didn’t like the vibes.

“What did he do?” I ask Ivy, who’s right next to me.

“He was making really gross comments about me on stage then Darcy came over to get his drink order and he grabbed his dick, saying he was gonna fuck him whether he wanted it or not. Darcy told Gus and when Gus went to talk to the man, he lunged for the stage. They sent me back here out of the way until it calms down.”