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My room is on the fourth floor. The second door on the right.

Phoenix:

Okay, see you in a bit.

I look up and notice that John is still watching me.

“Are you sure everything’s okay?”

“Yes, I just need to go out for a moment. I’ll be back soon, okay?” I hold my breath as I wait for an answer, praying that he’ll just say yes and that he won’t ask any questions.

His eyes narrow a little. “Is it important?”

“It’s about my daughter.” That’s not really a lie, more a bending of the truth. A look of surprise crosses his face but disappears immediately. Then he nods. “Okay.”

I stand up and give him a grateful smile before leaving the office in the administration building and walking across campus to the dormitory. I stand outside with the cold wind blowing in my hair and watch as students come and go. Most of them are heading to the practice building, while the freshmen and sophomores make their way to theory classes.

I wait for a few more minutes, and only after glancing at my watch to make sure that classes have started again for everyone do I walk toward Lia’s room.

Chapter 41

Lia

It was a totally stupid idea to ask Phoenix to meet me in my room. I didn’t think about it at all, I just did it.

Now I’m staring at my phone, wondering whether I should tell him not to come. Then again, there’s no one else in the building now. Everyone is in class, other than me, of course. Today I did what I was too proud to do a few weeks ago when Susannah took my role. I called in sick, even though I’m fine. Although fine is relative. I’m healthy. But I’m not feeling well. Everything hurts. My head is pounding, my eyes are burning, my nose is blocked, and I can’t breathe properly because I’ve been crying all morning.

I flinch when there’s a knock on my door. Soft, arriving much sooner than I expected, and a little hesitant. I climb out of bed and avoid looking in the mirror. I’m fully aware that I look terrible. My hair is a mess. I took a shower but didn’t bother to blow-dry it out smooth as usual, so now it falls in waves around my shoulders. I’m pale with red eyes from crying and an even redder nose. I’m wearing my school hoodie, and I wish it were his, just so I would have something that smells like him. How utterly silly of me.

I open the door, and there he is. Tall, dark, and handsome. So handsome that it takes my breath away for a moment.

“Hey,” he says.

“Hey,” I say, a little choked up.

How can it be that only yesterday, we both admitted that we missed each other? And now it’s about to be over.

How can that be? How?

It doesn’t even feel like twenty-four hours have passed since then.

I take a step to the side, and as he enters my room, I realize that this is the first time he’s ever been here. Phoenix’s presence seems to suck all the air out of the room, which suddenly seems much smaller than it did just a moment ago.

It was really stupid to invite him here, but now it’s too late. He’s here now, and he won’t be staying long anyway. Still, it feels strange to watch him looking around my room. It’s tidy, as usual. Everything is where it belongs, except for my notebook, which is lying on my desk instead of in the drawer of my nightstand next to the lighter, where it should be. His gaze falls on the slim book. His eyes flicker, and I know what he’s thinking.

I burn my own secrets, but I could keep yours.

Neither of us says anything. We’re delaying the inevitable. It’s ridiculous, because it was nothing.

We were nothing.

Just a little too intense, a little too much feeling, a little too much falling, a little too much of everything.

“So . . .” I begin.

“So . . .” he says.

I take a breath, my chest rises. His does too. I don’t want to do this.