Page 73

“Yes, you said that already. It’s always complicated.”

“Yes, but—” I stop. I can’t tell him why it’s really complicated. I can’t tell him that Lia is one of my students. Then he would demand that I end things between us immediately, even though he wouldn’t have any right to. But he would be right.

“But what?”

“She has enough problems of her own, and I don’t even know yet if Brittany and Clark will allow me to see Olivia yet and for us to . . . I don’t know. Build a relationship.”

“You’re afraid how she’ll react when she finds out you have a child,” my brother observes.

“She’s younger than me. Shit, don’t look at me like that, Brooks. She’s old enough. It’s just . . . I’m totally overwhelmed. It’s all so damn difficult, and Lia . . . Neither of us knows what’s really going on between us.”

“Then let’s simplify the whole thing. Let it go. End it.”

I stiffen. “That’s your advice?” I ask, even though I knew exactly what he was going to say.

“Yes. You came back for Olivia, not to fall for the first girl you meet.”

“I’m not—”

“I don’t care. You ran away for four years, and if you’re with her, you’ll do it again. She’ll become your new excuse. Damn it, Phoenix, I know you, whether you like it or not. I know how you tick.”

I shake my head and say nothing. He doesn’t have a fucking clue. It’s not like that. Lia and I are different. It’s not running away. It’s not a “looking for a reason to mess things up and prove to yourself how irresponsible and worthless you are” type of thing. It’s different.

“End it,” he says again. “There’s a reason you didn’t tell her about Olivia.”

“I know, but—”

“No buts,” he says, interrupting me again. “If you want to fuck her a little longer to relieve stress, fine. But don’t fall in love with her. Not if you can’t tell her the truth. Just don’t do it. Your life is complicated enough as it is, as we’ve just established. Don’t make it even more complicated by waving a new girlfriend right in front of Clark and Brittany—and especially Olivia.”

“I’m not going to do that,” I protest.

“Are you sure? I think you only told me about her so I could talk you into it. But I can’t. Brittany and Clark lost their daughter, and Olivia lost her mother. And she doesn’t know you. Don’t make it any harder than it already is.”

I press my lips together and nod, even though I don’t want to.

“I only want what’s best for you,” he says, his voice softening again.

“I know.” I sink back into the sofa and close my eyes for a moment.

How does anyone know what’s best, anyway? All I know right now is that I’m in too deep with Lia to back out. I’m in too deep, and I’m being selfish, because I know how it will end.

I know because it’s inevitable. Because Lia has dreams. Big dreams. The same dreams I once had. Dreams that no longer fit into my life.

So yes, it will end.

I just want to be able to decide for myself when the ending comes.

Chapter 37

Ophelia

“Just hypothetically, what would you say if I were standing at your door right now?” I say into my phone, watching the numbers on the elevator display going up.

“I’d say that you should be asleep in your bed because you have class early tomorrow morning,” Phoenix replies, and I can hear the smile in his voice.

“Okay, understandable. Anything else?”

“Yes.” The elevator doors open, and there he is. Dark, tousled hair, even darker eyes. My heart skips a beat.