Page 43

I give in, even though I really don’t want to. “Of course. I don’t even know what this is about. All Pearson told me is that Tyler and I would be rehearsing with Mr. Sutherland. He didn’t tell me the reason,” I lie. “I’m sure he’s just worried that I won’t be good enough if we don’t spend as much time as possible rehearsing,” I add, because I can’t help it. “In the very, very unlikely event that you won’t be able to dance. After all, there must be a reason I’m only the understudy.” Now it feels like I might really be overdoing it. But at least Susannah seems a little more satisfied.

“That’s true,” she says, tossing her platinum-blond hair over her narrow shoulders a little too obviously. My gaze is automatically drawn to her collarbone, which is even more prominent than it was two weeks ago. She’s lost weight; it’s impossible to ignore. But her salad bowl is empty except for a few scraps, so at least she seems to have eaten something. More than I have anyway.

“So it’s you, Tyler, and Phoenix, huh?” Katie changes the subject slightly to distract Susannah and me. Her eyes are shining. She’s really got to stop saying his name.

I shrug, but my stomach tightens again. “Yeah.”

She sighs dreamily. “I’m a little jealous, you know. He’s so hot, and soon you’ll have him all to yourself.”

“Katie, please stop.” I make a face and hope that I’m not getting red, but I can feel the heat rising in my cheeks. “He’s our teacher.”

“So what?” She laughs, obviously unworried. “You’re not going to do anything with him.”

Don’t react. Just don’t. If I give it away now, it will all be over.

“Still, it’s pretty inappropriate.”

She gives me a reproachful look. “You’re such a killjoy. Don’t you think he’s hot?”

I’d like to just say no, but objectively speaking, Phoenix is too attractive for me to disagree with her. “I really don’t care what he looks like,” I say with as much dignity as possible, and in fact, it’s almost the truth. I don’t care what he looks like right now. Unfortunately, I care far too much about everything else. “He’s going to rehearse with us, and that’s all that counts.”

“Exactly,” Charlie says, winking conspiratorially at me. There’s gratitude in his smile. We both know how exhausting Susannah can be when she’s in a bad mood. She always looks for faults in others, never herself.

“That’s probably for the best,” Katie finally admits. “After all, you need to be able to concentrate.”

“Yes.” I force a smile. Exactly. I need to concentrate on dancing, on my role. While Phoenix watches me and tries to teach me to show my feelings. I’m sure that’s going to go wonderfully.

* * *

At the end of the lunch break, we make our way back to the practice studios as a group, because even though we won’t be spending our afternoons together anymore, we’ll still all be in the same building. In the afternoon, the studios are much busier because the younger students have classes now too. Bright laughter echoes through the corridors, and my stomach clenches as I follow the others upstairs.

Phoenix didn’t tell me which room we’d be meeting in, and I almost hope we don’t find each other so I can avoid the inevitable a little longer. But he’s already waiting for me on the second floor with Francesca, who will be practicing with Charlie and Susannah, while all the other seniors have stayed down on the first floor where Mr. Conrad will be leading their rehearsals. In a few weeks, everyone will be practicing together, but in the beginning, it’s easier and sometimes more sensible to work in smaller groups.

Phoenix’s expression is inscrutable as I approach him. He nods briefly at me. “We’re going upstairs,” he says, turning back to the staircase without another word. Tyler is nowhere to be seen. I glance briefly at Francesca, who smiles encouragingly and motions for me to follow him.

Francesca heads into the studio to our right with Charlie and Susannah, who hasn’t said a word to me since we left the dining room.

I suppress a sigh and follow Phoenix upstairs to the fourth floor. He waits for me again at the other end of the hallway, in front of a narrow staircase with worn steps that leads to the small studio directly under the roof, which is no longer used for teaching.

No one ever goes up here; the room is too small and dark. There are no large windows like downstairs, only round windows that can’t be opened. The dark wood floor creaks under our footsteps. It feels different from the smooth parquet downstairs. From one second to the next, Phoenix and I are alone. Completely alone. Oh, God.

He doesn’t look at me but walks stubbornly toward the small stereo system, with his eyes focused straight ahead, and pulls his phone out of his pocket. A moment later, soft piano music fills the studio, and he finally turns to face me. I’m rooted to the spot, just a few steps away from the door. His gaze burns into mine, and I swallow, feeling much too warm.

“Where’s Tyler?” I ask, my voice sounding foreign to me. It’s the only question I can think of asking, even though I don’t really care where Tyler is. He’s not here, so he doesn’t matter. But I have to say something, anything, because the silence between us is unbearable and everything else that comes into my head is wrong.

“We’re alone today.” Phoenix takes a deliberate step toward me.

I swallow. “Okay.” I hate how shaky I sound.

“Shall we start?”

I nod, even though I want to shake my head. No, I don’t want to start. I want to run away, as far as possible.

But I can’t because Pearson is giving me an opportunity that no one else would give me. He wants to help me, and it would be foolish to turn him down. This is about my career and my life.

I drop my bag on the floor with a thud. I take a deep breath and exhale slowly. I can do this. What we had is over, and now we are who we are. Teacher and student, nothing more.

He doesn’t know anything about me, and I don’t know anything about him.