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We shut out reality until it catches up with us again on Monday.

Francesca tells us during the first lesson that no decision has been made yet about who will dance Odette and Odile.

Katie squeezes my hand when some people give me dirty looks. They’re wondering what the problem is—I can see it in their faces. Why isn’t Susannah dancing if she’s supposed to be fine? Why am I not dancing if Pearson assumed at the beginning of the semester that I could do it? Otherwise, he wouldn’t have chosen me as the understudy. I don’t have an answer for them.

At the end of the second class, Camille enters the studio, and I feel sick when she tells Phoenix and me that Pearson wants to talk to us.

Katie looks at me questioningly, but I just shake my head because I’m sure it’s not about the performance but something much more important. But I can’t tell her that. Not yet.

“Ready?” Phoenix asks as we stop in front of Pearson’s office. He sounds nervous. I reach for his hand, not caring whether I should or not. There’s no one here but us and Camille, and I’m sure she already knows anyway.

“Yes,” I say. “And you?”

“Yes.” He gives me a crooked smile.

“Everything will be fine,” I assure him and myself, praying that it’s true.

Chapter 59

Phoenix

“Thank you for coming,” Pearson says as Lia and I sit down on the two chairs in front of his desk.

“No problem,” I reply. He doesn’t have to thank us; it should be the other way around. But I can’t think of anything else to say.

“I had a lot of time over the weekend to think about your situation, and I’d like to know how you envision moving forward.” He observes us, tilting his head to one side.

“We . . .” I fall silent, my mouth suddenly dry as dust. The question is tough. It reminds me of what it was like to have to assess my own performance. Most of the time, I was completely wrong, either too modest or too arrogant. This is similar. He clearly expects a certain answer, but I have no idea what it is. I swallow. “I can understand if you fire me.”

“That would be one option, yes.”

“Is there a better one?” Lia asks, a touch too hopeful.

Pearson leans back in his chair and crosses his legs.

“The thing is, Phoenix, you’re doing a good job. I talked to Francesca about you, and she sees potential in you as a teacher. You have a good way of dealing with the students. They feel comfortable with you. Some more than others.” His gaze shifts meaningfully to Lia. She blushes bright red. He clears his throat and puts on a neutral expression again. “Nevertheless, that’s a good foundation. If they didn’t feel comfortable with you or didn’t trust you, they couldn’t learn from you. I’d hate to lose you.”

My pulse quickens. “Then can I—” I fall silent as he raises a hand to stop me.

“I’m not done yet. I don’t need to tell you that your behavior was wrong; I think you both know that very well.” Now he’s looking only at me, and I have to fight the urge to shift restlessly in my chair. “You should have told me about your relationship with Lia before I assigned you to rehearse with her.”

“I know,” I reply. “But at the time, I didn’t think it would come to this.” That’s not an excuse, and it doesn’t justify anything. It’s just the truth. But that’s all I have to offer right now.

“Then you should have informed me when it did come to that.”

“I know,” I repeat and then feel like I have to apologize after all. “I’m sorry.”

Pearson rubs his forehead. “You’re putting me in a difficult position. As I said, I’d hate to lose you, Phoenix, but I can’t just ignore this. We’re a school, and we have a reputation to uphold.”

I flinch. That’s something else we didn’t think about: what this means for the place that used to be my home, that is Lia’s current home.

“It’s not official yet, but we’re currently speaking to a production company that wants to shoot a documentary here starting next semester.”

“What?” Lia stares at him in amazement.

He smiles wearily. “There’s a lot going on here at the moment. Nothing is going as it should, and the situation with the two of you . . . well, it makes everything a little more complicated.”

“They’re going to shoot a documentary here?” This is as much news to me as it is to Lia. Pearson hasn’t said a word about it in any of the morning meetings with the teachers.