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“Why didn’t you?” We’re both pretty good at being accusatory right now.

“Because . . .” I pause and suddenly feel a lump in my throat. “I thought if I said something and she lost the role because of it, she’d think I only did it to get the part.”

“No, she wouldn’t have—”

“Yes, that’s exactly what she would have thought, and you know it,” I interrupt her. “She would have hated me. I think she already hated me for trying to talk to her about it.”

“When you walked out during lunch.”

I nod. “She didn’t want to talk. And I . . . I was too preoccupied with myself to try again. It was selfish. I should have said something. To her, or Pearson, or Francesca. It wouldn’t have mattered who.”

Katie sighs and reaches for my hand. “We both should have said something.”

“What about you? Why didn’t you say anything?”

“Because of the performance. I tried to talk to her, but she wouldn’t listen. She denied it and said I didn’t need to worry. She said it was just the stress and she was fine. I guess I wanted to believe her. After all, I didn’t see it with my own eyes, like you did. And then I thought that if I tried again after the performance, after she had danced Swan Lake, she might listen and realize that she needed help.”

“We really should have talked to Pearson. Or at least talked to each other. If we had tried to talk to her together—”

“She still wouldn’t have listened to us.” Katie undoes her bun and runs her fingers through her dark hair until it falls in messy strands around her shoulders.

“Probably not. But maybe.”

“It’s too late now anyway. We can’t change it.”

“I know,” I say.

“Tyler’s right, isn’t he? He says she can’t dance in the performance if she stays this way, and especially after Pearson hears about what happened. He won’t let her.”

My stomach cramps. We’re both talking around the same thing—namely, that I’ll be standing on the stage taking her place. It feels wrong even to think about it.

I shake my head and push the thought aside. “Let’s wait and see. Maybe it’s not as bad as we think.”

* * *

Actually, she looks a lot worse than we thought.

Susannah is shuffling through the hospital corridor, and she and Francesca head toward the exit, going right past the waiting area. She doesn’t notice us; her gaze is blank, but you can tell she’s been crying a lot. Her face is puffy but still very pale. Her eyes are red. Francesca walks beside her, one hand on her back, a look of concern on her face.

Katie is the first to get up. My body won’t obey me. I just sit there, frozen, watching Susannah. Unlike the girl I watched on stage just a few hours ago, there is now nothing light or graceful about her. Her steps are heavy and slow.

“Hey, Susie!” Katie’s voice sounds hoarse, and only now do I manage to get to my feet as well.

Francesca stops when she notices us, giving us a faint smile. “I should have known you two would be here.”

Susannah turns to look at us, her eyes widening in surprise. She quickly wipes her face, as if that could erase the traces of crying. “What are you doing here?”

“We wanted to see you. But they wouldn’t let us in,” Katie explains, walking over to her and giving her an awkward hug. She whispers something I can’t hear, and the next second, Susannah bursts into tears. She cries, and Katie holds her tight, while Francesca and I wait. I haven’t felt this helpless in a long time.

It takes a while for her to calm down again. Only after she wipes the tears away and claims that she’s fine do we make our way to the parking lot, to Francesca’s car. On the way back to school, Francesca explains briefly that Susannah was dehydrated and didn’t eat enough today. She was weak, and stress with overexertion did the rest. She doesn’t say another word about whether she knows what Susannah is really doing, that there’s more to it than just not eating enough for one day.

Katie and I exchange a brief, uncertain glance, and she reaches for my hand. I squeeze hers back and try to swallow the lump in my throat. My eyes burn with unshed tears. It shouldn’t be like this, it really shouldn’t. We’re all silent until we finally reach campus. We quietly say goodbye to Francesca and walk back to the dorm.

“Do you need anything?” Katie asks cautiously when we reach Susannah’s room.

Her hands tremble as she takes the key out of her bag and unlocks the door. “No, I just want to sleep.”

“Okay.”