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“Otherwise, I would never have even considered that you might be jealous of me.”

“I’m kind of a petty person,” I reply, my thoughts wandering to Phoenix and what he said before we slept together for the second time.

You’re envious and jealous and just human, Ophelia.

“I think we all are, in a way,” Jase says, and something inside me relaxes, because I know he’s right. Maybe it really is okay. It just depends on what we make of it.

“So, what should we do now? What happens next?” I ask.

“Do you want to talk to Mom and Dad?”

A bitter laugh escapes me. “Why should I? They won’t listen anyway.”

“Maybe it’s better that way.” Jase stares at his hands. “We’ve been talking more recently, but it still sucks. I’m not the way Dad wants me to be, and he can pretend as often as he likes that he doesn’t mind me dancing, but I still don’t believe a word he says. He’s not doing it for me, he’s pretending for Mom.”

“Dad died when Sam died,” I say, because it’s true. It’s not just Mom who isn’t the same anymore. Dad isn’t either.

“I miss him,” Jase says, and I know he doesn’t mean our father. Tears fill my eyes.

“Me too,” I choke out.

“I somehow blocked out the fact that you lost a brother too. I was selfish.”

“It’s okay,” I reply, even though nothing is okay. But somehow it’s getting a little better right now.

“No, it’s really not.”

“Jase? Do we still hate each other?” I ask, unable to suppress the tremor in my voice.

Jase tilts his head to one side, strands of blond hair falling in front of his green eyes. His eyes, my eyes, Sam’s eyes. “No,” he says firmly. “We don’t really know each other. But maybe we can change that. Maybe we can . . . I don’t know, work on our relationship? And, Lia, just forget about Mom and Dad.”

“Yes.” Sniffing, I wipe the tears off my cheeks. “That would be nice. I missed you.”

He smiles, and this time, for the first time, his smile is genuine.

And that’s a start.

Chapter 49

Phoenix

“Are you sad?” Olivia interrupts me and looks up at me with her big blue eyes. I’m in the middle of reading something to her, but the way she’s looking at me now, I can tell she hasn’t been listening; she’s been lost in her own thoughts.

Surprised, I return her gaze. “What makes you think so?”

She shrugs. “I don’t know. You look sad.”

Her words pierce my heart. I have to clear my throat before I can answer. “I’m fine. Everything’s okay.”

It’s the truth, but at the same time, it’s a total lie. I’m fine because I’m with her. Brittany and Clark now trust me enough to leave me alone with her, even though they’re sitting just downstairs in the living room. I’m fine because Olivia wants to spend time with me alone, because she wanted to show me her room. It’s probably the pink dream come true of many little girls. And she wanted me to read her a bedtime story tonight.

My life is developing in a direction I didn’t expect but hoped for, even though I couldn’t admit it to myself a few months ago. This is exactly what I wanted, and not just since I returned to Boston. It started before that, back in New York. Before Mom tried to persuade me to come back home. Before I set foot in this city and immediately wanted to leave again because everything that awaited me here scared the hell out of me.

That hasn’t changed. I’m still scared.

Scared of messing up, scared of disappointing Brittany and Clark and Olivia. Scared of disappointing myself. Just because it’s working out right now doesn’t mean it will stay that way. But I want to believe it will.

Still, something is missing.