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“We’ll get you fed soon,” Dr. Taleigh promises. “He’s responding well to stimuli and he’s perfect, Noor. Everything else can wait until after you deliver the placenta. Relax, the hard part is over.”

Sighing, I sink into the pillows, in awe as I stare at my son. My tears aren’t of fear and pain anymore, but of happiness.

You’re so loved, baby boy. We don’t need those fuckers, not even a little bit.

CHAPTER

SEVEN

THREE MONTHS LATER

OCTOBER

CIARAN

Alastair and Draven are silent as we walk through Los Padres National Forest. It’s been a year since we lost Noor and the baby, and we’re going to the cliff to talk to her.

I’m at college, Alastair is linked up with a team to focus on his skills, and Draven is going pro right out of the gate. All of our dreams are in play to come true. We’re just missing someone we never thought we’d miss.

Noor.

I’ve started diffusing vanilla oil in my room at college, while telling my roommate I need it for hockey as part of my rituals. It’s a lie, though I do play better with Noor’s scent fresh in my memory.

Alastair, Draven, and I have gone over why Noor is so important to us, despite not knowing her very well. The things we don’t know could fill the basin we’re headed to. The sky is clear today, the sun high above us. We drove together from Colorado to save money, and we’ll head straight back with a couple of side quests to make the most of our time together.

Alastair says Noor was special because she managed to make us feel something after being numb and angry for so long. She drove us all insane with the way she’d glare at us and stand toe to toe when we took things too far. Noor could have sent her family to murder us all at any time but didn’t.

She reminds me of sunshine during a raging storm. She was too good for the world.

The scar on my back and the tracker deeply embedded underneath it serve as a reminder of how insane her adopted family is. We walked home to Alastair’s after they fucked us up and didn’t get there until hours later.

I don’t know what the future will look like, but I think I want to live it for Noor. I want to be a better fucking human, let the bullshit go, be nice to the people I would have been a dick to in high school.

It’s the bare minimum, yet I’ve forgotten how to be decent.

“I’m in the pros,” Draven mumbles, shaking his head in disbelief as we approach the cliff. “Do you ever think about how we could have gotten here without being such douchebags?”

“All the time. We can’t go back in time,” I remind him.

I drop to the ground a healthy distance from the edge and stare out at the glittering water. It looks beautiful, but I know the dangers it holds too.

“She couldn’t fucking swim,” Alastair whispers, sitting beside me. “How did she get out of phys-ed?”

“Mrs. Denton was pretty persuasive,” Draven sighs. “Do you think they were trying to teach her?”

“Jared Denton was a swimming champion in high school,” I grunt. “I’ve had a lot of time to look into Noor’s adopted family.”

“God, can you imagine your daughter dying despite having all of the tools at her disposal?” Alastair asks. “The entire world feels as if it was against her. We were so cruel, and she refused to bend. I miss fighting with her.”

“I want her to yell at me. Is that some kind of kink?” I snort. “I wish she’d tell me to stop obsessing over her.”

“We don’t listen very well,” Alastair groans, rubbing his hand through his shortened hair. He shaved the sides a couple of weeks ago and cut the top to give himself a faux Mohawk.

We all walked away from our families when we accepted our deals to get the fuck out of Santa Barbara. Well, except Draven. His mom is very excited for the three of us. She’s so sweet, and took us out to celebrate when we graduated.

My parents disowned me. It’s just as well after how they’ve treated me. My brother is out of prison, and he reached out to me immediately after my dad told him he was just as worthless as I was. My nose isn’t straight anymore due to how many times it’s been broken, but Alastair says it suits me. I’m going to go with it since I can’t change it. I didn’t bother to set my nose after Noor’s grandfather broke it, and it’s yet another reminder of the night she died.

God, I still can’t believe Alexa was charged for her murder. Granted, they’re calling it manslaughter but still. So much shit has gone down, it’s very difficult to wrap my mind around it.