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CHAPTER

TWENTY-SIX

DRAVEN

I shouldn’t be touching her. All I can smell is her sweet scent and she’s squeezing her thighs together as if she’s trying hard not to move. Is that for me? Is she aroused?

I want to force her legs open to fit my body between them, but I won’t.

Don’t be stupid and don’t think about it. My cock thickens in my swim trucks and I keep my touch light.

“Your determination is stronger than your body thinks it is,” I rasp. “We jumped into the water to search for you, yelled your name, even diving to the bottom thinking we’d find your body. You got out for yourself and our baby.”

My hands wrap around her thighs, awed by how they no longer look like twigs.

“Look at you,” I whisper. “Fuck. Under the care of doctors who give a shit, you’re doing so much better. There’s a privilege that kids have being around others who are just as healthy as they are. I didn’t understand if it was asthma or why you always seemed air starved. The world is cruel, but our son never will be because he has you.”

“Draven.” It’s a whimper, and my cock twitches. My lashes flutter, making me wonder if I still have more work to do if I’m seconds away from coming because the sound is so fucking sweet.

“It’s time to go,” I whisper, opening my eyes. My thumbs are dangerously close to the apex of her thighs and I force myself to suck in a breath. “I swear I didn’t mean to…”

My hands raise in the air sharply and my elbows slip off the edge of the ledge. I drop underneath the surface of the water before kicking back up. I came out further out into the deeper end than I planned, and I’ll have to swim back with her on my back. Oh no, more time to feel the weight of her body against mine.

You couldn’t pay me to complain about that.

I help Noor onto my back and swim back to the shallower end, making sure she can stand before holding onto her hand. When she doesn’t pull away, I call that a win as we walk up the stairs.

I never finished telling her how proud I am that she fought to stay alive, but I suppose that’s not for me to say.

“What’s on your leg?” Noor asks.

I glance down as if I have no idea, though I do. After my massage, I put my band back around my thigh to keep me focused.

“Remember we talked about pain?” I ask her, showing the way the spikes offer just enough pressure. “I couldn’t keep it together during senior year of high school. Everything felt like it didn’t matter anymore. I couldn’t focus in school and I genuinely thought your adopted mom was going to murder me.”

I continue to walk with her to fetch a towel and begin drying her off. I find I can breathe a little easier when she lets me, and I drop to my knees to pat the water from the inside of her thighs.

“I was going to fail if I didn’t figure it out, and Alastair told me he’d kill me himself if that happened. I was rolling a spiked ball over my leg when I realized I liked the pressure. The indentions on my skin felt good, and it made my brain happy.”

“That’s what cutting felt like,” Noor whispers. “It was something I was in control of in a world where I was in control of nothing. It helped me float.”

“This is less dangerous,” I grunt. “I pay attention to how long I do it for, and take breaks. I have to make sure it doesn't cut off the supply to my body.”

“Does it help?”

“It does. Right now, it’s keeping me from doing things I shouldn’t.” I’m eye level with her cunt and I force myself to continue drying her body instead of pushing her against the wall and eating her cunt. I’m breathing a little heavier as I toss the towel into the laundry basket and wrap a new one around her body.

“Do I want to know what kind of things?” she asks, holding onto the wall as I roughly dry myself off.

“My control isn’t good enough for that,” I warn.

“Are you just going to hide forever?” she asks.

“You’re not very smart are you? Fuck.” Ugh. That wasn’t very nice. I’m holding on by a thread.

“Maybe not, but it’s still a valid question. I have seen how awful you can truly be, and it doesn’t seem as if your demons are something you can exorcise.”

I push the door open as we pad through the hallway toward the lockers. The employees are cleaning up, and they said I can have as much time as I need. I know it still won’t be enough as I escort her back.