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“I’m sorry.” I hugged him.

He kissed the top of my head. “Me too, sweetie, mostly because I missed out on a life with you two.”

I told Mom what I knew of her family and about the latest sorcerer. She said she’d remembered Calliope being born. She shook her head, saying she didn’t understand how people chose evil. I was right there with her. I told them all about The Slaughtered Lamb and Fergus, my friends and the places I’d visited.

“It’s time,” Athena said, appearing behind Mom’s shoulder and making us all jump.

I’d forgotten we were on a timer. I almost protested but stopped myself. I wouldn’t tarnish the best gift I’d ever been given by whining about it. I bowed my head in Athena’s direction and said, “Thank you very much, my lady. This has been a wonderous gift.”

I leapt at my parents, hugging them both as hard as I could. My heart was full to bursting but my arms were suddenly empty. Choking back tears, I turned to the goddess, my hands clutched before me again. “Thank you.”

She studied me a moment, her gray, intelligent eyes missing nothing. “It’s time to pay.”

I nodded. “Yes, my lady. I accept.”

She waved a hand and I experienced a moment of excruciating pain before it began to fade. I looked down at my exposed arms and saw the familiar scars back again. I considered how it felt to have them back and decided I just didn’t care. I’d been able to talk with my parents. Scars were nothing compared to that.

When I looked up, I found myself alone.

I knew I should try to get some sleep, but I was too wired. I sat, opened my pack for my canteen and found the Artemis cake had reappeared. Thank goodness—or, no, thank goddess. I was so hungry. I ate the cake, drank two canteens of water, and lay back, staring up at the inside of the tunnel, replaying my conversation with my parents over and over, memorizing every look, every word.

I left my sleeves pushed up because I found that I truly did not care. They were a record of all the ways in which I’d survived. It wasn’t about what had been done to me. It was what I had lived through and lived beyond. The man who’d originally carved those scars into my skin was dead and I had just spoken with and hugged my parents. Totally worth it.

Chapter 18.5

THE FERRYMAN’S REST, HOUR 43

Meanwhile, Clive and Vlad said goodnight to the others. As the Drakes filed out of the bar, Clive checked his watch. It was a little after one. He still had a few hours before he needed to go back underground. Now that he had Sam, he hated summer.

“I’ll be back,” he said to Vlad.

“Don’t do anything stupid,” Vlad called, but Clive was already out the door.

Like Fyr earlier, Clive walked along the cliff, venturing far from the Ferryman’s Rest. Eventually, the will to walk left him and he stood, buffeted by the winds, watching the light from the moon play on the surface of the sea.

He couldn’t stop himself. He kept checking for her in his mind and when he couldn’t find her, his heart broke all over again. Never again. He didn’t care who needed either one of them, they weren’t doing anything that split them up like this again.

When she’d been away from him in Faerie, he’d spent his waking hours enraged, with Russell and Godfrey taking the brunt of it. This time, he found himself overwhelmed with sadness.

He pulled out his phone. This was the real reason for walking so far away from the bar. He’d seen she’d left a message for him and he wanted to listen in privacy. He tapped his phone and waited for her voice.

“Hello, love. I don’t know how long you sleep when a god puts you down, but I hope it’s not long—or maybe it’s better if you sleep through this whole journey. I don’t want you to worry.”

He heard the wind whistling over her voice and the crash of the waves.

“I love you, you know? I’m, uh, scooting toward the edge of the cliff on my butt because I’m so freaking scared of going down those stairs. I know if you were here, you’d pick me up, hold on to me, and take me down them while I kept my eyes screwed shut and strangled you, holding on too tight.”

The corners of Clive’s lips turned up. He remembered when she’d done exactly that as he lowered them down a cliff in Bodega Bay. Thankfully he didn’t need to breathe, so choking wasn’t an issue.

“I know you’re not here, but I wanted to thank you for what I know you’d be doing if you were. If that makes sense. It probably doesn’t. I’m scared out of my mind, so you’ll need to ignore the babbling.”

Clive’s heart hurt.

“I didn’t get to say goodbye. I’m sorry. I—oh shit!—Sorry! I thought the wind was going to shove me right over the edge. What was I—oh, right. I’m sorry I didn’t get to give you a hug and a kiss goodbye. Or more of one. It probably seems like I’m just trying to avoid going over the cliff, but that’s not it. Mostly it’s not. I know you’re angry with me for doing this and I get it. I feel like there are forces at work, pushing me, and I guess there are. I really hope I can do whatever it is they want of me so I can get back to you as soon as possible. I know I just left a few minutes ago, but I already miss you. I’m going to do my best to think of this journey as one long summer day keeping us apart. With any luck, the sun will set soon so I can race home to you. If I don’t make it back out, know that I love you with everything in me. I don’t know how I could possibly squeeze one more scintilla of love out of this mind, this heart, this body than what I already feel for you.”

She chuffed a high-pitched laugh. “One foot over the edge. I should say, if I don’t make it back, find another person to love. You’re so good and kind. You deserve love. I’m not good and kind enough to say that, though. It’s not that I want you to rend your clothes and mourn me for the rest of your innumerable days. I mean, it would be nice, but it’s not mandatory. Mostly. Let’s just leave it at, if you do find someone else, I won’t haunt you. Sorry. I got off track somewhere. The real message is please don’t be too mad at me. I had to do this. And I love you. Know that most of all.”

Clive almost hit play again but stopped when he realized someone was standing beside him.