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“That doesn’t matter. What matters is getting you away from me,” Vincent said.

“You don’t mean that.”

“I do.”

We drove for several hours, and I talked the whole time. Vincent mostly ignored me. He would pull over occasionally, disappear, and look for something unseen. He would return with the scent of the wind in his hair and clothes, and we would continue. I had some idea of our destination, but Vincent refused to answer any more of my questions. I wasn’t making any progress in convincing him to change his mind. After a while, Vincent clammed up and wouldn’t speak, even to defend his position, so we continued in silence.

We stopped again, and Vincent went out to scout. He walked back to the car, and I could tell he’d found what he’d been looking for. His gait was different. He moved slowly, as if weighed down by an invisible burden. He got back in the car and sat there.

Finally, he spoke. “We will stay in a town just ahead for the day, and then I’ll make contact before bringing you in.”

“Sure. Whatever.” I didn’t feel like fighting anymore. I was losing the battle, and I didn’t know what else to do.

We pulled off the highway, past a small gas station and several darkened fast-food restaurants. It was startling to see the remnants of a civilization that had existed so recently. We’d spent so much time alone in the mountains that I’d almost forgotten the outside world.

After some searching, we found a house to stay in for the day. Vincent shifted some of the items he’d packed into the living room. He’d checked it to make sure no one was inside—either the living or the dead. I was sorting through the food we’d brought when Vincent walked into the small kitchen, his pack over his shoulder.

“I’m leaving now,” he said. No emotion showed on his face.

“I thought you were going to wait until tomorrow night to talk to the people you found.”

“I am. But I’m not sleeping here. I’ll find another place. You should be okay here for the day.” His voice was dead, hollow.

“Vincent, this is ridiculous. Please just stay here.” A surge of panic rose in my chest, threatening to choke me. If Vincent left, there would be no time to persuade him to reconsider.

“There’s no basement here. I’ll see you tomorrow night. Stay in the house and keep the rifle close.” With that, Vincent turned and left, faster than I could follow. He slammed the front door on his way out, the sound like a slap to the face.

I stood in the kitchen, stunned. This was not how it was supposed to go. On the way there, I’d tried to think of the right thing to say—the magic combination of words that would fix everything. But Vincent remained unmoved. I leaned back against the cabinets, letting my head hit the doors and rattle the dishes inside. I couldn’t stay here all day, waiting to be handed off to a group of strangers. I didn’t want to lose Vincent. I was desperate for a solution, a way out.

I just needed more time.

38

VINCENT

My feet were glued to the porch boards, my forehead resting against the front door. Julian’s breathing was heavy, and his heart beat fast. A thump sounded, followed by the clatter of dishware. He was upset, and everything in me wanted to go to him, to comfort him. It had taken all my strength not to break down in the car. I ached to give in and find another way. But this was best for Julian. He would come to see that. He would build a new life and forget me, forget the pain I’d caused him.

I backed away from the door. The longer I stayed, the more likely I’d go back inside, and I couldn’t be in the same house as Julian. I couldn’t be that close. Plus, I needed to make sure there were no other predators in the immediate area—no vampires or humans within range of my mate. Then I’d lock myself underground.

With a final shove off the front porch, I turned and raced out of the area. Running felt good; it made me feel powerful. I wished I could run fast enough and be strong enough to conquer all my problems. But my very nature was the problem, and there was no way to escape it.

After circling the house, then the neighborhood, the town, and finally the surrounding countryside, I was finally satisfied. I picked a nearby home at random. Breaking open the front door, I found only the scent of stale air, no hint of rot or death. The basement door was easy to locate, and I went underground.

Sunrise was still far off, but I was wrung out. Emotionally, of course, not physically. Julian’s blood still gave me a boost, but it only made me feel worse in the end. I’d been so careful. I’d followed all my rules. And I’d really believed I was okay, not a threat to my mate. I sat in the damp basement corner, wrapped in an old floral quilt, not for warmth but for comfort. It was the best I could do.

My plan to keep Julian safe would work. It was an obvious choice. I didn’t know why I hadn’t thought of it sooner. But if I were honest, I hadn’t been looking for such a solution before. I truly believed I could keep Julian safe and that we would be happy and secure in our mountain home. I shook my head. No, I should have known better.

The following evening, I would say goodbye for good. Not that I’d go far, though. I couldn’t. Julian was still my mate and always would be. I’d stay nearby and keep other vampires out of the area. Julian would be safe and cared for. I’d watch from a distance as Julian settled in and found his path, building his own life. And then, when I was sure he’d be okay, I’d leave.

I’d return to our cabin and sleep in our bed one last time. Then I’d wait by the pond for the sun to rise. This was my plan.

I went over my plan for several hours, playing it in my mind like a movie until it didn’t hurt as much. Until I’d grown numb to the reality of what I would do. When I woke, I would go through it all again, acting it out. I was ready. Taking a deep breath, I released the tension and grief I’d been holding in my chest. Yes, this felt right. This was the way. I lay down, closed my eyes, and drifted into a peaceful slumber.

39

JULIAN

After an hour of thinking it through, the only thing I could come up with was to try to rewind the clock. I knew that if I left, Vincent would come after me. But I had to make sure he knew where to look. I wasn’t running away; I was buying time.