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Julian exhaled and set the spoon down. “I’ve decided I want you to stay with me,” he said, pushing his dish aside. “I know you see it as a risk, but I can’t imagine being without you now. We can figure the rest out as we go, okay?”

I wasn’t sure this was the best choice for Julian, but I had to admit I was relieved. I nodded. “If that’s what you want,” I said. “But there’s something else we haven’t discussed yet.”

Julian’s jaw tightened, as if expecting a fight. “Which is?”

“Well,” I began, “if times were normal and a vampire felt this way about a human, they would usually offer to turn that human into a vampire. It’s not uncommon for a vampire to change their mate, though that typically happens before they’ve mated, not after. I guess what I’m asking is, do you want that? Do you want me to turn you? Because if you do, I would.”

Julian was quiet for a moment, then nodded. “I have to admit, I have thought about it. How could I not? I have plenty of time to think during the day. But, Vincent, what would we eat?”

“We could find a way,” I said slowly. “You could travel immediately; we wouldn’t have to wait for the snow to melt. We could search for uninfected humans. It may not be easy. I can’t promise we’ll find willing volunteers, but I would make sure you were fed.”

Julian winced. “I don’t think I could do that. I don’t think I could feed on anyone, willing or not. I don’t want to have to do that or kill to survive,” he said. “No. I don’t want you to change me. It might have been different if the world hadn’t fallen apart, but it seems too complicated and too risky now.”

I nodded, relieved by his decision to remain human. And Julian was right. What would we eat? There were far fewer humans in the world now—far too few. Yes, I thought; Julian’s humanity was precious. I added it to the list of things I’d protect for my mate.

We moved to the living room, but Julian couldn’t settle. I suspected he had more to say, but I was content to wait. I picked up a book and sat across the room from him, by the fireplace. Every once in a while, I glanced up from the pages to find Julian staring into the fire.

Finally, after an hour of staring, Julian spoke.

“Vincent?”

“Yes?”

“What if we don’t leave here?”

“You mean choose to stay after the roads are clear? Remain, just the two of us?”

“Yeah, I’ve been thinking. I don’t know if it’s a good idea to rush off right away. We have everything we need here, and we don’t know what’s out there. Besides other vampires, werewolves, and disease, I mean,” he said, smiling in what I was sure was an attempt to lighten the mood.

“You would stay here with only me for company? Don’t you want to find other humans? Aren’t you lonely here during the day?”

“I get lonely sometimes, but I’m not sure leaving is worth it, at least not until we find out how things are out there. And what would we do if we did find other humans, even a town full of them, all healthy? Then what?

Would you still want to stay together, to live together?”

“I don’t see why not.” I cocked my head and let my book fall shut. “What’s troubling you, Julian?”

“It’s just that I know you don’t like having to feed from me,” he said, holding up his hand as I prepared to protest. “No, I know you enjoy it a lot, but I also know you worry. If you could, you’d want more than you’re getting now. If we were around other people, you’d want to feed from them—you’d need to feed from them. You’ve explained how that works for you and how you’ve done it in the past.” He took a shuddering breath and continued, his voice dropping. “I don’t know if I could stand the thought of you being out with other people, even for food. And that’s if we found a city or something. Chances are we’d only find a few people scattered here and there. Then what? Maybe it’s unfair, but I want you all to myself, at least for a little while longer.”

“You’re jealous?” I grinned at him.

“Yes, I’m jealous,” he said, his tone rising. “I guess it was seeing you with Nathaniel, knowing you were together, and had…bitten each other. I don’t want you to be with anyone else. I know it’s selfish. I’m not asking you to starve. If we were to go find others, maybe we could figure something out, but I don’t know.”

“I admit I hadn’t considered it in that much detail,” I said. “I’ve been more focused on making sure you had what you needed and eventually getting you back into some sort of community. I guess I assumed we would find a small group of people and that I would mostly rely on you. Maybe find a willing volunteer or two, so I wouldn’t be such a burden on you. But I’ve told you, I love you. And I wouldn’t want to do anything that would make you uncomfortable, Julian.”

Julian nodded. “But you have to agree to take more from me. I don’t want you to go hungry. And if you continue to show symptoms, we’ll think of something else.”

I scowled, unable to agree to all of that.

“How does this work for vampires who are mated? You can’t just feed on one another. Don’t vampires get jealous?”

“No, it doesn’t work that way. We don’t feed on each other. We do bite during sex, but not to feed.” I considered his question. “Vampires typically don’t get jealous of the humans their mates feed from. It’s different. Most vampires didn’t use the same techniques I did to feed. They usually had people they hired, employees they regularly fed from, or they would go to places that served blood. I even met a vampire once who worked at a hospital and drank only donated blood. I couldn’t have done that myself, but she seemed happy.”

“But will I be enough for you?” Julian asked. “I can tell you’re getting thinner, Vincent.”

I glanced down at myself. I supposed I was getting thinner lately. “I’m pretty sure I was grossly overfed before,” I said. “My body will find its balance; you don’t need to worry about me just yet.” I stood and pulled Julian off the sofa with me. “I agree to start taking a bit more, for my health and your peace of mind,” I said. “As long as you can handle it. And I promise I won’t go around biting anyone else without your permission.”

Julian hugged me back and let out a relieved sigh. “Good, then I want to stay. But, Vincent,” he said. “What do you want? Do you want to go?”