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He kissed me back, then pulled away. “What about your heart?” he asked. “Does it…beat?”
“See for yourself,” I said, making room for him to rest his head against my chest. “You might not have heard it while I was sleeping, but you may be able to now.”
Julian listened silently for several seconds. I could feel the rhythm pick up as Julian’s face brushed against my bare skin. Thump…thump…thump.
“It’s so slow.”
“Right now, it’s about sixteen beats a minute. That feels a bit fast for me. When I’m asleep, it’s probably just one or two beats a minute,” I replied. “Was it too strange to climb into bed with me like that? You don’t have to if you’re uncomfortable, of course. But it was really nice to wake up with you here.” I thought about what had happened the night before. I realized I craved having Julian nearby, even half-awake, and I hoped he would want to join me most nights.
“Hm, no. It wasn’t too strange,” Julian said. “Not now that I know what to expect. But we should move to my room with the wood stove, if you don’t mind. It would help a lot if you weren’t also the temperature of a corpse when I came to lie with you.”
“Yes, I can see your point. I believe we can make that happen.”
Julian got up and took Samson with him to the main room while I washed and got dressed for the evening. As I did, I reflected on how much had changed over the past few nights. I’d gone from worry and frustration to waking in the arms of someone I loved. There was still the future to consider, but for now, I felt like a new vampire. My bond with Julian had sparked a euphoria I’d never experienced, and all my concerns about losing control were far from my mind.
I found Julian tidying the kitchen, washing his dinner dishes. “It’s not that late in the day,” I said. “You don’t have to eat before I wake up.”
“I suppose I thought watching me eat might make you uncomfortable,” he said, wiping the counter clean. “You know, since you don’t eat daily.”
“It wouldn’t bother me,” I said, taking a seat at the island. “Plus, human food doesn’t interest me in the slightest.”
“It doesn’t smell good at all?”
“Not even a little.”
“What would happen if you ate something?”
“Nothing. Nothing happens,” I said. “I can eat, but I find food disgusting, and my body doesn’t digest it. It has to…come back up.”
Julian made a face. “Ugh, yeah, that sounds gross.”
“It is, so I avoid it when I can.”
“Why would you ever have to eat anything?” he asked, his brow furrowed.
“Well, there have been times when it was necessary to maintain the appearance of being human. It’s difficult to take someone out to dinner, for instance, without eating your meal. They start to get suspicious.”
“Hmm, I bet,” Julian said, putting down the towel and giving me a look. “Well, I promise I won’t make you eat any food. But I do worry you’re not getting enough of what you do need.”
“I’m fine. I get enough,” I reassured him.
“You hardly took any last time; don’t think I didn’t notice.”
“Things have been different over the past few days. I shouldn’t be feeding from you every night, let alone multiple times a night, and I won’t do that from now on. Twice a week is pushing it. I know how much I need, and I’ve never felt better.”
Julian didn’t seem entirely convinced but let the subject drop. I wasn’t lying when I said I’d never felt better. It was Julian; he was what I needed, not the blood.
We spent most of the evening preparing Julian’s room for the two of us. It was the better bedroom, with a larger bed, an attached bathroom, and heat. We secured the windows and attached my lock to the door. I also hung the drapes so Julian could come and go during daylight without bathing me in sunlight. I moved my things over, but Julian insisted I put some of my possessions in the living space too. He still felt I treated the house as his, not ours. After some discussion, I placed my stone carving on the mantel next to a photo of Julian’s parents. It felt right.
I loved being in Julian’s room—our room, I reminded myself. Not only was it more comfortable, but it also smelled like Julian. I would have happily spent all our time there together, but there were other things to do. Julian gradually became more accustomed to my doing more for him, and there was always something that needed to be done.
Over the next several weeks, I returned to town two more times to gather supplies and food. I kept the firewood well stocked and shoveled snow from around the house and off the flat parts of the roof. When I wasn’t doing chores, I spent time with Julian.
We resumed our evening routine, more or less, though some things had changed. I woke every evening with Julian in my arms. I wasn’t sure he understood how much of a relief it was for me. After getting dressed, we would talk while Julian ate dinner and did the dishes. Next came chores, and after that we would spend time in front of the fire. I would read, or we would talk, or Julian would fall asleep on the sofa beside me.
At the end of each night, we would go to our room and make love. If I fed, it would be then, with me inside him or curled around his body. Afterward, I would lie beside Julian as he slept until I grew tired and sleep pulled me down, too. I wasn’t aware of when Julian left the bed during the day to do all he did while the sun was out, but each evening, as the sun set, he was back beside me, and we would start all over again.
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