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Rather than moving past the experience, as I’d hoped, the embarrassment and frustration only compounded as the days went by. Vincent tried to smooth things over between us, but he only made me feel more pathetic. The harder Vincent tried, the worse I felt and the more I wanted him.

When Vincent realized I was frustrated by his efforts, the vampire switched tactics. For the next two nights, instead of being tormented by Vincent’s attentions, I was miserable because I hardly ever saw him. Vincent spent most of that time locked in his room or disappearing into the dark forest at dusk. I couldn’t pinpoint exactly what I wanted from Vincent, but I knew I didn’t want to be coddled or ignored.

Why was it so difficult?

It had been three nights since the misunderstanding. Vincent would be hungry again, and I wouldn’t deny him. This was my issue, and I refused to be petty about the rejection. Yet the thought of Vincent back at my wrist made my throat tighten, and my hands tremble. I knew I couldn’t stop how I felt, and Vincent would sense it. God, I dreaded facing the humiliation again. Maybe Vincent would ignore my reaction this time and grant me at least that small bit of dignity. Maybe.

I waited on the couch, staring into the fire, unable to look up at Vincent when he entered the room.

“It’s that time again,” I said. “I’ll feed you if you’re hungry.”

Vincent stepped closer, and I couldn’t help but tense. He crouched down, ensuring I couldn’t avoid his gaze, and placed his hands on my trembling knees.

“Julian,” he said.

I drew a ragged breath and finally focused on his piercing blue eyes.

“Please tell me what to do,” Vincent pleaded. “I know I’ve done something wrong, and I need to know how to make it right.”

“You’re not doing anything wrong,” I said, my voice rough with pent-up frustration. “It’s fine. Everything is fine.”

“Everything is not fine. I may not know what to do about it, but I know something isn’t right. And I know I’m to blame.”

I sighed; he wasn’t making this any easier. “No, it’s not your fault. It’s me. You don’t need to worry about it. It’s just something I have to sort out on my own.”

“What is? What do you need to sort out for yourself?”

Was he really going to make me say it out loud? Was he really doing this to me again? “How I feel about you,” I blurted, holding back tears. “And the fact that you don’t…feel the same. It’s just difficult.” I swallowed thickly and dropped my gaze. “Especially when you touch me.”

He pulled his hands away, and the added rejection felt like a slap. I choked on the embarrassment, trying so hard not to cry that I almost didn’t hear what he said next.

“Oh, Julian. I’ve wanted you since the first night I saw you,” Vincent said, and I looked up again to meet his gaze. “It was you I wanted in the bar that night, not the man I ended up with. But that was merely attraction.

“When I saw you again in your parents’ cabin, you were sitting on the floor with Samson in your lap. You were so utterly beautiful. More than that, I could see you were kind and gentle. It made me dare to hope you could treat me with kindness and understanding. And you have, in ways beyond what I’d hoped for and what I deserve. You’ve saved me in ways you aren’t even aware of.” He took a deep breath. “But I never stopped wanting you. I desired you long before I came to know and care for you as I do now.”

I blinked rapidly, trying to piece his words together in my head so they fit with everything I thought I knew. But I couldn’t. He wanted me. He really wanted me, too. My mortification faded, and a flutter of hope filled me.

“I didn’t push you away out of a lack of desire,” Vincent went on. “I said ‘no’ because I believe it’s safer for both of us. Sometimes I don’t fully trust myself. I worry about unintentionally hurting you. Plus, I’m concerned that being together that way might disrupt the harmony I thought we were building here. I don’t want to complicate things.”

Vincent ran his hands through his long hair and exhaled deeply. “I’m sorry. I seem to have ruined things with my intention not to.” He smiled and let his hands drop to his sides. “I told you I didn’t know how to do this,” he said.

I smiled faintly in return. “You want me?” I asked softly.

“Who wouldn’t?” Vincent replied, disbelief in his voice.

I let out a sigh. “I’m sorry for how I’ve acted. I don’t understand why your rejection hurt so much. It’s not like I haven’t been turned down before,” I said, shaking my head. “I feel like a heartsick teenager.”

Vincent winced. “It’s not your fault. I shouldn’t have suggested feeding directly from your vein. I should have known it might create…feelings.”

I shook my head again. “No, I wanted you long before you bit me, Vincent. It’s true. I find it very—how did you put it?—intimate,” I said. “But no, it’s just you.”

“Still, I don’t think it’s a good idea for us to take this any further. We have months of winter ahead of us, and already things between us feel…fraught.”

I didn’t agree, but I nodded. “Okay, I guess I can understand where you’re coming from, but just so you know, I think you’re wrong. I don’t believe you would hurt me, and I don’t think it would ruin things. I think it could be a lot of fun,” I said, giving him a smile. “I’ll wait for you to come around.”

“You will, will you?” Vincent said, smiling back in a way that lifted the heavy turmoil that had been pressing down on us for the past several days.

“Are you still hungry?” I asked.